


Open your eyes

by nightcloak666



Category: Free!
Genre: And Sou does not approve, At the beginning Sousuke and Rin are not together, He has enough of Rin's, Important: This is not for those who can't take Rin and Haru criticism, M/M, Maybe Rin will finally learn something, Prompt from a buddy, Sou says fuck this shit, Sousuke and Gou friendship, Sousuke decides it's time to stop wasting his own time, The second season ending sucked, Who knows what's later, more angry, sort of angsty sort of angry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-02-26 08:43:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2645519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightcloak666/pseuds/nightcloak666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How much a person can take before it’s too much? </p>
<p>In other words; no one is surprised that Rin has decided to leave, Gou has lost hope, Sousuke has had enough. Will Rin ever learn anything?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> For nguyenphongxiii :)

When Rin told him that he was leaving to Australia for a few days, and that with Haru, Sousuke did not say anything.

He just starred.

He wasn’t even angry. He wasn’t jealous. He felt backstabbed.

All those months he bit his tongue whenever the kid was mentioned. Rin was always blind and foolish. Rin sucked so badly at reading other’s feelings. He shoved in his face again and again how precious his little friends are to him, friends that not only he left Sousuke for, but friends who Rin obviously should have figured out Sousuke would absolutely detest.

If those friends were anything special at least! But no, Rin’s favourite swimmer was no one but a kid who’d drown in his bathtub if he could. Who swam “free”. Bla-motherfucking-bla. Who dissed Rin all the time. Who never wanted to become a pro swimmer and never in his life found out what hard work means but his friends acted like he was the king and worshipped him. Who threw a fit after fit because people told him to decide what to do after school. Really?!

Who in Sousuke’s mind deserved to stay in his bathtub forever. He was an insult to the professional world.

The amount of times he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes whenever Rin was talking about them, and that talking plain bullshit, overlooking the obvious problems, still flattered that they have “saved” him… The amount of times he had the urge to tell him, you know, you’d be over your issue in a day if you’d call me once, instead of being around people who do not get you at all, so you spent months getting depressed further and further…

Maybe it was a bit of jealousy speaking through him. Maybe it was the fact that he always used common sense, instead of basing everything on emotions like Rin did. He believed in action, not whining and self pitying. God, he hated people who self pitied, did not work for their dream, did not appreciate what they have – and Nanase was the definition of what he detested in a person. To be fair he did not understand what Rin saw in him. Rin who preached hard work. But Rin was always slightly hypocritical in his views. Whatever. He wished him luck running after a guy like Haru. At least Haru gave him the feeling Rin was giving to those who cared for him.

Sousuke thought it was unfair how much Rin shoved them in his face, but he clearly had no damn idea how much it had to hurt. Rin was foolish, but he wasn’t intentionally cruel. It made him frown, though, because really, Rin, you still do not think you did something shitty? Could you show your appreciation of me finding you when it was your job, really, since you cut contact out of nowhere, by at least not talking about them right in my face?

Luckily there was enough of good happening at the same time, so he just learned to ignore it. He sort of blamed it on himself too, Rin knew little of his reason why he came back. He’s probably only confused.

When he finally told him everything and Rin drowned in his tears as expected, he felt how much weight dropped from his shoulders. He could breath again. He felt that everything is going to be alright.

No more excuses, now they either make it right between them, or they are done and everything Sousuke did was for nothing.

Apparently it was.

When Rin left him soon after, asked by Makoto or not, but he did take his oh so precious friend to Australia, something broke in him. He did not fight with him. God no. He wasn’t pathetic.

He shrugged and smiled in irony to himself seeing Rin acting like he expected him to be cool with it too. Typical.

At least he did not tell him to wave Haru goodbye and wish him a nice trip he did not deserve.

Of course it pissed him off. There’s as much as he could take. When you ask, when you worry, when you work for a relationship, when you nearly beg for recognition, when you break your fucking shoulder, when you forgive and forgive even though he does not look sorry… and suddenly the one who receives everything you worked for is not you, but the so called friend who did not give a shit at all, you have your right to get pissed.

He shrugged it off, though. If he learned anything over the last few months, it was to ignore. Rin’s life. Rin’s decisions. Sousuke felt that Rin needed to learn from his own mistakes finally. He really stopped giving a shit. And it felt amazing.

But it wasn’t only about him, and that made the situation more difficult.

It struck him as odd when Gou told him she never talks with Rin. They were living near each other and Rin did not bother to spend time with his sister? School this, school that, bla, bla, bla. It’s about what you want. If you want it, you will find time for it.

Of course she was upset when he left for the few days they could have spent some time together. Sousuke took her to dinner and she cried on him, and for the first time he felt actual, real anger at Rin.

He thought Rin grew up, but he did not.

And he wondered if Rin ever would. Maybe that’s just how he was, maybe it was their fault, always shutting their mouths instead of telling him once to fucking appreciate those who’d do everything for him instead of running after those who dis him and only call when he’s needed. Just once consider their feelings.

Consideration. Goodness, it was like Rin did not know what it was.

When Rin said that he is leaving permanently, he shrugged. It was probably the first time Rin looked surprised. What, he expected him to cry? He nearly snorted seeing him opening and closing his mouth. It seemed Rin had a speech prepared, and was put off by his lack of fuck given.

Maybe Sousuke was starting to act like a dick. Maybe Rin needed someone to finally act like a dick to him.

Sousuke did not really expect it to change anything.

It was touching to hear that Rin would wait for him. His sweet, foolish Rin, deciding to live in denial. Maybe it was possible to come back to swimming. Who knows?

But he really did not want to anymore. It brought too many bad memories. He did not want to go to Australia either. What for? To watch people living his dream? It hurt. The last thing he wanted to see was Rin on stage by Haru during Olympics. Ah because Haru suddenly saw his future in professional swimming. Just when Sousuke started wondering if maybe the kid seriously was depressed over something.

How about suffering just to be by Rin’s side? No. No, he finally had to think about himself.

He ran after Rin once. Rin proved it pretty much pointless.

He is not going to do it again.

And he’s not going to lie, it did tick him off that Rin just expected him to go after him. He just took him for granted, expected something from him while not even asking what he wants, as usual.

It was time to cut an end to it, and start thinking about himself again.

Was he too harsh on Rin? Maybe. Who cares, though, his relationship with Rin was supposed to soon end anyway.

And he had his right to be angry that he wasted months for nothing.

His shoulder hurt like hell.

 

Rin came to see him on the last day before his trip. Surprised him, he knew around when Rin was leaving, found out from Gou, with who he started spending more time than him. Rin was running around filling documents and preparing to leave, Gou just wanted a friend who she knew would understand her.

Heh.

Rin had a bottle of wine and an unsure smile on his face, and Sousuke let him in, no hard feelings. He could let go for one night. He didn’t want it to look that he is unhappy because the boy will live his dream. He wanted him to know he was unhappy how he did it. He wished him the absolute best anyway.

Rin after all had to get a vibe that there’s something wrong. He was ensuring him for the whole night that he will call, and write, and send pictures, and it will be like he did not leave.

Sousuke sighed. Sure.

He told him to write to Gou and not forget that she’s his sister. Rin looked hurt, so he just opened the bottle and poured him a glass of wine.

That was the problem he had with Rin.

He was too weak for his tears. He did not like making people cry. Especially those who meant the world to him.

But it wasn’t his fault he stopped feeling anything himself.

He walked tipsy Rin back to his house, Rin clinging to his side, not saying anything.

A few weeks ago he’d hug him and tell him that everything will be great and they will soon see each other. Rin would probably cry. And then leave and forget. As always.

That day he knocked on the door, lightly pushed him away from his side, smiled and wished him everything the best. Nothing else.

He ignored the shocked face and left, without turning back.

Hearing confused “Rin?” twice, he knew Rin was watching him walking away, instead of going inside once Gou opened the door.

Well, at least this time Sousuke turned his back on him, not the other way around.

When he sat in his room, he took a deep breath, and opened his laptop.

It was time to confirm his place in USA. Everything was ready.


	2. Part 2

"Ok, guys." A man looking around thirty years old walked inside a massive hall with a group of people. This place with a massive swimming pool in the middle was nearly empty, no one currently swimming, no competitions taking place. But there were quite a few workers putting flags up, cleaning around the sitting area, and a few people in suits discussing something, pointing in random places.

They were all preparing for the massive event, sponsored by an American company, to support charity for children in need.

"This is where everything is going to happen," he took a deep breath, spreading his arms, big smile on his face. He brushed his blonde hair back when the group of boys behind him laughed kindly. "Don’t laugh, take it seriously!"

A pink haired man took a step to the side to have a better look. He smiled at the swimming pool. The water was so peaceful; tomorrow everything is going to be so loud, people shouting, swimmers jumping in, and water hitting the sides. He could already feel the energy rising in him.

"No, you fucking idiot, they are going to swim towards this side and back, not the other way around!" he heard a shout, deep voice making him turn his head to have a look at the other side.

"Oh, that’s the guy sponsoring the event. I think." Blonde said unsurely.

Rin starred with his mouth open.

"Hot stuff." One of his teammates whispered, making others laugh.

Hot stuff, indeed, Rin thought, his heart racing. It was Sousuke.

Sousuke who he saw for the last time ten years ago.

Tall. Wide shoulders. Body trained to perfection. Those gorgeous eyes that he could get lost in. Big heart.

He was slimmer now, the white shirt tucked in black trousers he was wearing showing off his nice body, just not as big anymore. His hair grew a little, surprisingly making him look younger in a way, his face softer than the one he saw the last time. Or maybe it was the happiness and peace clear on his face that made him look so different.

Rin always thought that Sousuke was just a type to be a little bit grumpier, looking harshly and seriously at the world. There was a bit of innocent happiness in him when they were very young but when they reunited Sousuke seemed so mature. Only when Sousuke told him about what he was going through Rin realised what was behind the change, and it was beyond heartbreaking to find out why he matured so much. He thought it’s beyond repair.

Clearly he was wrong.

Again.

He was so confused when suddenly Sousuke started acting cold. He had the best months of his life with him, it was like nothing changed even though they did not see each other for five years. And out of nowhere, Sousuke pushed him away. He could still remember when he smiled at him weirdly and left, just wishing him the best on his last day in Japan. Nothing else.

Rin thought that maybe Sousuke was just upset. He did not like showing his feelings, so he left before he would. But he was pretty ensured Sousuke would show up in the morning to give him a lift to the airport and say goodbye.

He waited in the morning. Nothing.

He went to the airport, hoping Sousuke will show up. He did not.

He sat in the plane, thinking that Sousuke will show up as a surprise saying that he is leaving with him, that everything was just to surprise him at the end. But he did not show up.

Some nice girl gave him tissues seeing him tearing up.

When he arrived in Australia there were no more tears left, and he did what he always did in such situations – got furious. He did not write to Sousuke.

Neither Sousuke did to him.

A week later it finally got to him how he was probably doing the exact thing Sousuke expected of him. Maybe he was testing him. And Rin failed the test again.

But when he called him, Sousuke did not pick up.

He did not know what to say when he called Gou and she told him that Sousuke left to America. Something he was obviously planning for awhile already and did not tell a word to Rin.

He felt betrayed.

How could Sousuke just leave?

When he said that to Gou, she asked him the same question.

And he finally started understanding something.

The problem was that he thought he will call Sousuke, they will talk, meet, and everything is going to be alright.

But Sousuke completely cut him off. He did not pick up his calls. He did not answer his texts. Rin started worrying that something happened to him, but then he saw his own sister liking Sousuke’s pictures on a social platform and that’s how he finally found out something about him. If seeing Sousuke with some other students partying, laughing, drinking, looking so happy made him feel weirdly, the fact that he accepted in his friends all Samezuka students, his sister, but not Rin, made him want to slam the laptop against the wall. He still saw the public pictures, but he knew little about his private life. Apparently as the only one.

He had the urge to call him just to say ‘fuck you’ but luckily for him he called Gou first and whined. She just told him that now he knows how it feels and she was warning him to not take Sousuke for granted for a long time already. He did not listen.

Even Sousuke had his limits. And he finally reached them.

Rin did not speak to anyone for a week after that. He fixed things with Gou later, remembering to contact her more often, to visit more often, to try to change.

But it was too late for Sousuke. He tried, but Sousuke completely cut him off and wasn’t even thinking about giving him a chance.

Another one.

Third one…

He even asked Gou to talk with Sousuke. He wasn’t replying when she was mentioning Rin.

Sousuke permanently erased Rin from his life. He did not want anything to do with him.

Rin finally gave up.

He never felt so empty in his life. He never felt like a bigger loser.

He knew Gou was sometimes travelling to America to see Sousuke. His little sister with so many less chances to speak to Sousuke managed to prove a better friend than Rin who was sleeping in the same room with him every single day for months.

From what he found out Sousuke was doing exceptionally well, studying something PR and Management related, had a job by the end of his three-year course. He quickly became someone important.

Gou did not talk much about Sousuke to him, knowing it hurt, so he missed out that apparently Sousuke became the boss of one of the most influential companies in the world.

Nice.

He watched Sousuke showing his people something, they were scribbling in their notebooks. There was an attractive guy and girl standing by Sousuke, opposite to the guys listening to him. Once he finished explaining something to his people and they went away, they said something to him and started laughing. The beautiful lady pulled Sousuke by the black tie tied around his neck winking to him, and the guy theatrically raised his hands in despair. When suddenly one more guy ran up to them and grabbed her to throw in the swimming pool, Sousuke and others laughed. A few seconds later all four of them were in the swimming pool, laughing like idiots, splashing the water at each other. They were all young, happy, and ecstatic.

Rin watched them high fiving each other, clearly celebrating something.

“Who is racing with me?” asked the skinny one who was standing by Sousuke’s side since the beginning.

Sousuke laughed. “Can you even swim?”

“Bitch, I will beat your ass.” Not very elegantly he pulled himself out and looking ridiculous with his suit clinging to his body he started taking it off.

"Ew, I don’t want to see your naked ass." The girl said in pretended disgust.

"Oh you wouldn’t mind Sou’s, though, huh?!"

She smiled cheekily. Sousuke hid his face in his hands and then dived to hide his embarrassment. She laughed and caught his leg, pulling him back towards her. He spluttered some water and jokingly pushed her away, scrunching his nose adorably.

"Out of the clothes, guys." Three of them finally climbed out too, and Rin’s eyes lingered on Sousuke’s body, the white shirt clinging to him and now pretty much see-through.

Sousuke was thinner but his body was still great, and there was not a hint of fragility in him. He always had certain authority, even when they were only students, but they were just young swimming coaches after all. Here stood a sure of himself man, even if completely soaked. He looked somewhat darker with his longer hair clinging to his face, which he smoothly brushed back, sharpening his look.

The girl and guy who threw her in the water sat on the side, while Sousuke and his friend stood on the stages, only taking their shirts and ties off. Rin’s jaw dropped seeing Sousuke’s back tattooed.

"Meh, what about pants?"

"Shut up," the guy by Sousuke hissed. "I am not going to swim naked!"

"I did not tell you to take your… Ohh! Ohhhhh!" she started laughing.

Sousuke smiled, shaking his head, and said; “On three?”

"Sure, boss!"

"I count!" she shouted and stood up. "One… Two… THREE!"

They dived in at once, and Rin stopped breathing.

"Woah, that Sousuke guy is good." His teammates noticed after a few seconds.

Sousuke was a lot faster than his rival. It was like painful memories were hitting Rin all at once. So Sousuke did not give up on swimming. He did not swim as someone who gave up ten years ago. But Rin never saw him on any competitions. Maybe he just swam for himself then…

Even thought Sousuke was obviously happy and successful, it made Rin upset to know he did not swim professionally anymore. That Sousuke never felt how it is to win Olympics. He was the one who deserved it the most out of everybody. And it felt so good racing with, or against him…

Sousuke won and clasped hands with his friend once he reached the end too. He looked so happy.

They all walked out soon after, Sousuke with his arm around his swimming friend. There was something even more relaxed about him after the little competition he just had.

"Hey, Rin, are you ok?" The captain of the team put a hand on his shoulder, face concerned. "You look like you’re going to cry. Do you know them?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "No." he shook his head, bitter laugh escaping his throat. "No, I don’t think I do."

And it was his fault.

Sousuke gave him a chance to be that friend standing by his side ten years later, with his arm around his shoulders, laughing after winning a silly competition.

But Rin left.


	3. Part 3

It was the first day of competitions.

The weather was absolutely beautiful, sun making everybody happy. There were a lot of kids running around in the park, where the music played loudly. Clowns were playing with them, giving out balloons. Cars with burgers, pizzas, hotdogs arrived. Others brought big stones to make a big circle out of, and threw lots of wood inside, ready to set on fire when the night will arrive. Volunteers with funny paintings on their faces walked around, asking people to support the charity.

Kids were trying different toys from the circus, riding on weird bikes, jumping on bouncy castles. They were so happy that others found it difficult to not smile with them.

“Gou!” Rin shouted, seeing his sister with a little boy on her hands waving to him. He was standing by one of the tents where people could hide from the sun and get a drink.

The little boy with bright red hair decided to run on his little legs to Rin, Gou had to help him stand every few steps as he was falling.

“Hey, kiddo!” Rin caught him laughing, the boy completely not bothered by his dirty knees. “Maybe we’re going to have a sprinter in family, huh?”

He smiled brightly at him as Gou kissed Rin on the cheek.

“Ready to shine?” she asked, but her eyes looked worried. “You seem tired.”

“Yeah. It’s just stress,” he answered, shrugging dismissively, but Gou noticed his stiff posture.

“I see. Well let us walk you to… Oh god, is this Sousuke?” she pointed quickly behind Rin.

He turned and searched with his eyes, to finally notice him standing with the guys he saw Sousuke with yesterday.

While Sousuke had a white shirt on, sleeves rolled up, thin black tie nicely tied, aviators covering his eyes, his friends were dressed more casually. The girl in a summer dress looked a lot less strict than yesterday, her hair down in nice waves. Both guys were in simple tops and jeans, one hanging on another, either tired of the sun, or hangover, considering the other was laughing at him.

“Sousuke!” Gou shouted, waving enthusiastically.

Rin looked at her quickly with desperation clear in his eyes, but she ignored him and continued on waving. He growled seeing her self-satisfied smirk.

“Come on, Sora, off you go to your mom, I need to…” Rin tried to quickly push him in Gou’s arms but she gave him a hard look, mouth in a thin line.

Rin felt his knees going weak when Sousuke noticed them. Luckily he did not see his eyes, the disgust that was probably there, but the smile was gone from his face suddenly. It hurt the same.

The situation would have become very awkward, but Sora screamed “uncle” happily and quickly ran away from Rin’s arms to jump in Sousuke’s who went down to his knees to catch him.

“Holy sh…” he coughed. “Well didn’t you grow up!” he laughed, lifting him up.

“Five meters,” the kid showed him his whole hand, five fingers.

“Centimetres,” Gou corrected him, tugging Sousuke down by his tie so she could kiss his cheek. “Look at you!”

Sousuke did not say anything, just smiled kindly. He turned to his friends who were starring a little bit confused.

“This is Gou, my old friend, her brother Rin, and Gou’s little son, Sora.” He explained in English, and ruffled Sora’s hair, making him giggle. “I’ve told you about Gou before.”

“Oh, yeah, I remember now, you’re childhood friends.” They all shook hands.

Rin tried to look not bothered with what Sousuke said, but it was obviously visible on his face because Gou took his hand. She asked in English; “Are you going to watch the competition?”

“Yes!” They all answered at once, and laughed.

“You did receive your ticket, right?” Sousuke let the little boy back in his mom’s arms.

“Yes, thank you.” She smiled bright. “You didn’t have to!”

Sousuke put his hands in his black chinos’ pockets, and made a little dismissive noise. “Not a problem. But, anyway, we’ve got to go now, I will see you later,” he winked to Sora and with a quick ‘bye’, not sparing a look at Rin, walked away.

They watched as the girl got closer to him, wrapping her arm around his middle, obviously asking about them.

“You okay?” Rin heard Gou’s unsure voice.

“Fantastic.” He did not even try to hide the bitterness in his voice. He felt like acid was eating his insides.

“Are you planning to talk to him?” she asked.

“How?” Rin shrugged. “He pretends I do not exist.”

“And you are ok with that?” They started walking towards the hall.

“Of course I am not ok with that,” his hands curled into fists. “We were best friends and now it’s like he erased me from his mind. You’re his friend, not me. I’m just a brother of his friend now.” He stopped talking for a moment, feeling the voice catching in his throat. “What am I suppose to do? Run after him like a pathetic idiot when he’s ignoring me?”

“So you think he was pathetic when he ran after you when you were ignoring him?” she asked. There was no anger in her voice, but she looked at him without sympathy this time. “And that when it was your fault, not his. It’s your fault you two separated again. Don’t tell me you expect him to talk first again!”

Rin opened his mouth in surprise. “He left! Cut me off!”

“YOU left!” she pushed him, frustrated. “Get it in your thick skull finally and stop blaming others for your mistakes!”

“What was I supposed to do? Not pursue my dream career because he couldn’t?!”

She looked at him in disbelief. “You think THAT is what it is about? God, you are more stupid than I thought.” Gou shook her head.

“Maybe enlighten me then!” He was starting to grow frustrated.

She took a deep breath. “Sora, go play for a minute. Just do not go too far away.” Gou put him on the grass and he cheerfully ran to the nearest toy. “You fool,” she turned to look at Rin, straight in his face. “You think Sousuke wanted you to stop swimming to stay with him?! Why you ever considered yourself to be his best friend when you never understood him?”

Rin gaped, feeling like she just stabbed him. But Gou wasn’t done yet.

“You left him, not giving a damn when you were kids. He found you anyway and tried to make it better, without blaming you, forgiving even though you were not sorry. He was suffering a lot then, his dream was broken, he was looking for support as much as for a friend. He still did not say anything, because he did not want to upset you. But when he finally did, what have YOU done?”

“I’ve… I…” Rin spluttered.

“You took Haru to Australia. And then left completely. Like nothing happened.”

“I just wanted to help a friend,” he said in defence after a few quiet moments of him looking at his feet.

“Too bad you decided to help the one who had four other friends around him all the time, not the one who had no one but you.” Rin would have preferred if she just slapped him, because those words were like hot water burning his face.

“But Sousuke was fine…” he said quietly. “Haru was the one who was so upset…”

“Haru was the one who showed he was upset by throwing fits, Sousuke did not. Haru only needed to get over himself and make a decision what to do after school, but Sousuke was left with nothing after he spent years working for the same dream as you, and he had to deal with losing it alone. Out of everybody you should have saw that he was playing being ok. You lived in the same room together for months.”

“I knew there was something wrong!” he knew he had tears in his eyes, but he didn’t care. “I asked over and over again. When he finally told me, we swam and we fixed every…”

“You think that one race fixed the depression, the pain and loneliness he was dealing with for years?” she asked in disbelief. “Even if,” she added. “You surely screwed everything up by running after Haru and leaving to Australia with him right after. Just imagine how it all looked to Sousuke. It’s really not difficult to imagine. It always will be them, not him. And then you left completely. You basically told Sousuke he reunited you two for nothing. He worked so hard for this relationship for nothing. Even though you should have worked for it, because it was you who screwed up. He suffered for nothing. He dealt with you talking about iwatobi for nothing. Did you really not think how much it would hurt him to hear about them all the time? He forgave you leaving him, and instead of being thankful, you pushed him away and told him how precious they were. If you were incapable of saying ‘thank you’ you could have at least not shove them in his face out of consideration for his feelings. But you always cared about yours more. When you had the chance to prove yourself, to help him, when he needed you so much, you had no excuse of not knowing anymore… you left to Australia out of all the places, and that with Haru.” She finished, shaking her head. Gou took a deep breath, hands on her cheeks, calming herself. “The worst is that it’s been ten years and I just told you what you did wrong. I. Not you. You never figured it out yourself. Which means you never felt that the fault was on your side,” she shook her head again, upset. “You’re right, don’t try talking with him. He has moved on, he’s happy now. Don’t ruin it. Be happy that he was strong enough to stand on two legs after you failed him again.”

Rin felt like she stuck a knife in his throat. He choked, trying to cover it with a weird laugh. To hear such things from his sister hurt more than anything. He wiped the tears off his cheeks, stood straight and nodded, not looking in her eyes.

“I need to go, meet with the rest of the team,” he said quietly, swallowing hard, posture stiff. “See you later.”

“Good luck,” Gou touched his hand for a second, her face sorry. She probably did not want to say all of this to him. But she did.

Rin was happy that she did, even if it hurt like hell.


	4. Part 4

“Rin, focus, will you.”

He snapped out of his thoughts, realising he was sitting on the bench in the changing room for the past few minutes while others were busy talking. His coach and team leader was standing in front of him.

“Sorry.” Rin stood up, back straight.

“Leave your private problems here.” The blonde said to him, eyes cold. “I don’t want any bullshit. This is as important as any other event.”

Rin grind his teeth together. “I know.”

*

The charity event was supposed to be on for two days, first day for relays, second day for individual races. Swimmers from all around the world gathered to support and of course promote themselves at the same time.

Business was business. Everybody wanted a chance to be sponsored by Sousuke’s company.

He eyed the audience while standing with the team by the swimming pool, noticing Gou with her kid sitting on her knees, waving to him. Rin smiled, feeling a little better.

He looked at the judges, and spotted Sousuke standing with them, in the middle. He wasn’t judging; he seemed more like a bodyguard observing from behind them, keeping everything in check.

Sousuke was starring at him, and Rin dropped his head seeing no warmth in those eyes. Once upon a time they were bright, full of love for him. Now they were dark and indifferent.

*

The race was good. The atmosphere was so cheerful, kids’ positive attitude making everybody happy. His team was great; they were one of the most hardworking people after all. As usual, Rin sucked compared to them.

He ignored the way they looked down on him. He did not swim badly. He swam pretty well, especially considering circumstances. But no matter what he would do, they will always judge him three times harsher because of what happened. He could barely remember the days he was respected as a swimmer.

Gou smiled, giving him his nephew to carry once he changed back into his casual clothes. They went outside, ready to get something to eat and drink. A band played music loudly, there were lots of people sitting in circles laughing together, eating bbq food.

They noticed Sousuke with his friends on the side. He was laying with his eyes closed, arms under his head, relaxing, looking a little like in another world. One of his friends was on the phone, the other two talking and eating.

“He was always handsome, but goodness didn’t he grew up to be hot.” Gou noticed Rin’s longing look and commented with a sigh.

Rin laughed hoping she didn’t notice his blush. “Better watch your kid, who is planning to jump on him.” He pointed at Sora who was running towards Sousuke with a laugh.

“Sora, no!” Gou shouted and managed to catch Sora right before he jumped on Sousuke. He heard them, though, and opened his eyes to look at them surprised.

“What?” Sousuke asked confused, his voice heavy with sleep. Sora untangled himself from mother’s arms and sat on his stomach with a big grin on his face.

“Hi, uncle.”

“Hi, nephew.”

Sora giggled hearing Sousuke imitating his voice.

“Good job, he was starting to snore.” The blonde girl smiled. “Sit down, guys!” she offered.

“No, no,” Gou declined seeing Rin’s desperate eyes. “We won’t be trouble…”

“I wanna stay!” Sora whined, clinging to Sousuke’s shirt. He ruffled his hair and sat himself up, looking a little out of it.

“Sit down,” he urged them with a yawn.

“Should have slept yesterday,” the girl said, making Sousuke roll his eyes.

“Bosses do not sleep,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes. “And I do not snore.”

She side-eyed him.

“I don’t!”

Gou and Rin sat near them, Rin as far away as possible. But he could not help and starred at Sousuke like a fool.

God, if he’d just look at him like he looks at Gou at least… just once…

“I can’t wait for the fireworks,” one of the guys said, grinning. “It’s going to be great. Do you like fireworks?” he asked Sora who nodded enthusiastically.

They were talking for awhile just like that, but the ease with which Sousuke was ignoring Rin made his heart ache. He was trying to talk little, but did not want to make the situation awkward at the same time. Sousuke was simply pretending he wasn’t there. Rin did not try to direct any questions to him. He watched Sousuke playing with Sora, laughing, holding his little hand and showing him around when the kid grew bored of sitting with them.

He tried to not think about the fact that if he only wasn’t a selfish, awful friend all those years ago, he’d walk by them happily right now, making Sousuke smile with the ease his friends do. 

*

When it became dark they watched gorgeous fireworks together, which danced to the music played. Sora was so excited, clapping his hands, and Rin smiled seeing Sousuke letting him sit on his shoulders. Sora’s little hands grabbed his hair, making him wince.

It was once they sat together again, Rin opposite to Sousuke, when he saw Sousuke eyeing someone or something on his right side. Sousuke whispered to the skinny man sitting by him, and the guy looked up, eyebrows furrowed, searching for something. They exchanged a few words between each other but then continued talking with others like nothing happened. 

Shortly after for a moment Rin thought that Sousuke was looking at him, but he quickly realised that Sousuke was looking behind him. Rin couldn’t help it and turned his head to look behind himself, too, following with his eyes where Sousuke was intently starring. He noticed a guy around their age standing pretty far away, his dark hair smoothed to the side. Starring straight in Sousuke’s eyes, he lifted his hand to press two fingers against his temple, face emotionless, mouthing a little ‘poof’ noise.

Rin turned back to face Sousuke so quickly that he felt pain in his neck. But Sousuke did not seem worried, lips twisted in a smirk, eyebrow cocked.

Rin felt a shiver going down his spine when Sousuke lifted a glass in ironic ‘cheers’, not taking his eyes off the man.


	5. Part 5

“You’re playing with the wrong person, Sousuke.”

A man with ocean coloured eyes groaned. He was half laying on the leather sofa in his apartment at the hotel. His skinny friend was sitting opposite to him, by the electronic fireplace that was turned on to give a little bit of not annoying light. It was a very late night.

“What can he do, bite me?” he laughed dismissively. “He’s a moron.”

“Morons are sometimes most dangerous,” he hissed. “He’s a psychopath, you think he won’t try to kill you if that would be good for him? He fucking hates you!”

“You’re over-exaggerating.” Sousuke yawned.

“Dude, he freaking showed you he will shoot you in the head in front of everyone.” He looked at him in disbelief.

“So he won’t do it, because everybody would know it’s him. He won’t dare.” Sousuke shrugged.

“I remind you that you just called him a moron.”

“No one is that stupid!”

His friend rubbed his eyes in desperation. “Just be careful, don’t provoke him, we don’t want to go to your funeral. Is it really too much to ask from you?” He sighed.

“You worry too much. If I were careful and not provoking then I wouldn’t be here today.” He pointed at the beautiful apartment.

The man growled and stood up. “Whatever. It’s nearly morning, I need some sleep.”

Sousuke waved to him receiving a slap in the head for it, making him laugh. When the door shut behind his friend, he sighed to himself and went to the little bar with drinks to pour himself one. He sat back comfortably with a glass in his hand, now feeling his body aching from being so tired. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept for a full night.

He knew he would end up meeting Rin one way or another, but he really hoped it would be from far away. But once again they were face to face.

He tried to not look at him most of the time. He knew it was ugly of him to pretend Rin pretty much does not exist, but the pain was still there. He didn’t know it would hurt so much to see him again. But he was tearing the old wounds apart, which equalled to pouring acid down his throat. It’s been ten years but the easiest way of dealing with everything was pretending they have never met. His technique still worked, it was only more difficult to put into action when he was forced to stand near him.

It did upset him. God, it upset him so much.

Sousuke hoped that Rin would ignore him in the same way. But he was starring and he looked hurt. In a way it made him angry – if anyone could be hurt here, it was him. But the pain in his eyes was different. It wasn’t the shock that someone did not talk to him after he was being an ass, and God, if Rin always was surprised that some people did not have strength of dealing with his selfishness. It was fighting with the urge to talk to him and Sousuke knew it. That made him furious. He wanted to feel like he does not know Rin anymore. But he still knew exactly what Rin was feeling. He knew what Rin wanted to say about swimming, about the other stuff he was mentioning during the night, when others clearly weren’t grasping the actual point. And Rin knew that too, eyeing him for help, his shoulders dropping when Sousuke was turning his head away. 

It made him feel like shit.

But it wasn’t his fault. Was he supposed to be sorry that it took Rin fifteen years to get what he did wrong? To grow up? He wasn’t sure if Rin got it. He was probably just thinking that Sousuke was angry he left to Australia and that’s it.

It wasn’t the fucking point.

So he told himself that he probably wanted to talk to him out of selfishness. And he did not because of his big ego. And, anyway, he was probably angry that he was being ignored, nothing else. How dare you ignore mighty Rin.

Creating an awful image of him in his mind and finding excuses sort of helped.

The problem was his eyes that were sorry. Sousuke could tell. He really could.

It wasn’t the ego; it was trying to respect Sousuke’s decision. For once he was trying to fight with his selfishness, thinking about what Sousuke wanted first.

It wasn’t anger; he was blaming himself. Rin blaming himself? That was new. Even if not exactly for what Sousuke wanted him to.

He probably should have been happy. Rin got what he deserved, eh? Rin feeling his pain. Rin’s longing look on Sousuke, not returned. Rin begging for attention and not getting it. Rin looking at him and his friends in jealousy. Oh how the tables have turned…

He did not feel good about it. Maybe there was a tiny bit of satisfaction there. But he never broke them completely apart to hurt Rin, he did it to save himself. If he continued running after him, he’d end up as no one in a psychiatrist hospital. He was already broken and badly depressed when he left, that going after Rin and letting him continue treating him like air, taking for granted, watching everybody swim, and listening about the brat that Sousuke still wanted to punch in the face would end up badly. And the Rin then would still not give a fuck and not try to at least shut the fuck up sometimes out of respect for his feelings.

He tugged his own hair in desperation. His new friends were everything he did not know good friends were a definition of. Good friends notice, they help, they care, they respect, they do not take for granted. They make you feel loved.

He thought they were great friends with Rin. Best, even. But they never were.

Sousuke would jump off the bridge if it made him happy then. He loved him that unconditionally. But Rin would probably not even notice.

When Sousuke found himself a group of friends that were treating him the way he was treating them, for the first time in his life he felt loved. It was so natural to them. Then it hit him how he wasted months looking for simple respect from someone who he thought is his everything. It somehow made him feel even more down. You shouldn’t beg for respect from someone who calls himself your best friend.

After only a few weeks in America he stopped stuffing his face with anti depressants that he needed in order to function normally. The anti depressants he started taking even more of when he reunited with Rin. Simply a few weeks away from him, from everything, took him out of wanting to take his life. The little thought at the back of his mind since everything started going to hell, the one he tried to fight so hard with.

He thought reuniting and being with his best friend would help. He ignored that Rin should have made the first move. He ignored everything. Even that Rin wasn’t sorry. Maybe he wanted to pretend like nothing happened because it hurt him too. Sousuke could understand it. Maybe he was ashamed. It was okay.

But when you excuse, forgive, ignore, and at the end he waves you goodbye… you learn to not be a fool.

This was why everything was making him so tired. He should hate Rin. It would make everything so easy. But he couldn’t. He was stupid and he couldn’t. 

He went to the bar to pour himself another drink.

*

“Are you going to sleep?” Gou yawned, throwing herself on Rin’s bed.

He had a little apartment in Australia, since he was living alone. Sora was asleep in a small travel-bed in the living room that was only separated from the bedroom by sliding wooden wall they left opened to hear Sora.

Rin was sitting by his little desk, starring blindly at it for the past few minutes. Gou threw a pillow at him to make him snap out of his thoughts, and he finally looked at her and moved to lay down by her.

“What’s wrong?” She tugged his hair a little.

“Have you seen that guy who was looking at Sousuke?” he asked quietly.

“There were quite a few guys looking at Sousuke,” she giggled. “Which one do you mean?”

“After the fireworks Sousuke was eyeing someone, and then talking to one of his friends about him. I think he was surprised he saw him there. And then the guy was behind us and he made a gun with his hand and the shooting noise,” Rin showed Gou. “He was looking straight at Sousuke.”

“Wow, wait.” Gou sat up quickly and faced him worried. “Did Sousuke see that?”

“Yeah! He freaking smiled to him and lifted his glass in cheers!” Rin hugged his knees. What the hell was Sousuke doing? What did he put himself into? He was so worried.

“Maybe it was some joke between him and a friend?” Gou asked unsurely.

“That did not look like a joke.” Rin shook his head. “He was threatening him.”

Gou hugged her knees in the same way as him. They were quiet for awhile.

“I will call him,” she said, making her way to the desk to pick her phone up. Rin watched her trying to contact Sousuke for awhile, but he was not picking up. It only made him more worried. What if something already happened?

After he saw the weird interaction he tried to catch Sousuke’s attention, tried talking to him, but Sousuke was acting like nothing happened. Completely ignoring him. After some time he ensured himself it was probably a joke, but when they came back to his apartment and Gou went to take a shower after putting Sora to sleep, he was left alone and the situation started getting to him.

But what could he do? He knew nothing. It wasn’t that Sousuke did not see it and he had to warn him at least. Sousuke acted like it was nothing, a sort of sick joke.

But Rin could not stop worrying.


	6. Part 6

“Dad!” Sora shouted seeing a man with orange hair walking towards him.

“Sora, kiddo!” he spread his arms letting the kid throw himself into a hug.

Rin smiled a little bit tiredly with Gou. Momo and his brother, Ai, Makoto, Rei, Nagisa, surprisingly even Haru, all came over for the charity event. It was Gou who started the idea of reuniting them all, making them arrange their holidays for the same week so they could meet in Australia. 

“Late night?” Makoto asked smiling at their tired faces.

“Mhmm,” they both nodded.

“Damn, this is a massive party,” Momo noticed. “But what else would you expect from Sousuke, eh?” he grinned. “How is he?” he faced Gou who kissed him on the cheek, her hand sneaking around his middle with a smile.

“He’s looking great. Being a boss works for him,” she laughed with fond.

"Speak of the devil,” Rei and Nagisa said at once and laughed.

They all turned to look at Sousuke standing far away from them, with a few people they did not know, showing them something.

On the second day of the swimming competitions there was also a meeting of a few major companies. They had sort of a competition themselves, the companies being judged on pretty much everything so they could give a trophy to the best one. Rin did not think it was supposed to be mixed with the charity at first, someone probably thought it will be fun to throw it in the mix. The results and medals were supposed to be in the evening anyway, so after the biggest fun. Probably to not have kids whining that they are bored.

Rin was curious whether Sousuke was making this event, or his company would be judged too. Or could it be both? He wasn’t sure, he only became interested when he found out Sousuke would be involved at all.

"Sousuke!" Momo shouted and Rin nearly slapped him. Seriously?!

Sousuke surprised looked around until he spotted them. Rin nearly laughed seeing him taking a deep breath and giving them a quick wave, looking ready to run. Rin was happy to see him well, after they did not manage to contact him yesterday.

Momo waved for him to come over and Sousuke finished speaking with his people and slowly made his way towards them. Rin nearly felt sorry for him.

"Hello, Mr Boss," Momo grinned, letting giggling Sora jump in Sousuke’s arms.

"Hey you all," Sousuke stood right by Rin, making something flip inside his stomach.

"Congratulations, that’s a major success," Makoto said to Sousuke who looked a little bit surprised at him.

"Thanks, mate." He smiled.

Right, Rin thought, he could at least congratulate Sousuke. Way to show him he is a better person now. Ugh.

"I’m hungry," Sora murmured in Sousuke’s neck.

"Me too," Nagisa added.

"Oh boy," Sousuke laughed quietly. "You all go eat then, before the competitions."

“What about you?” Gou asked. “Won’t you eat with us?”

“I still have a lot of work to do,” he explained. “I will see you later.” He gave her Sora who was pouting. Sousuke poked his cheek, Sora’s nose scrunching up.

“So bosses don’t eat either?”

He seemed confused for a second but then laughed. “Only when everybody else is asleep.”

“No wonder you’re getting so skinny,” she sighed.

“I’m not skinny,” he took a look at himself, and then ruffled her hair to annoy her until she slapped him off. He grinned.

“SOUSUKE!” they heard a shout.

“Jesus Christ.” He turned back to see his blonde friend. “WHAT?!”

“People are waiting for you!” she seemed ready to strangle him.

“Coming!” he shouted back and then smiled apologetically at them. “I have to go, see. Have fun guys.” And he was gone.

“Being the best comes at a price, hmm.” Ai commented.

“When I’ve met him ten years ago I knew he will end up as someone like that. He gave the vibe.” Momo’s brother smiled wide and threw his shoulder over Momo’s arms. “Let’s eat.”

*

“What’s going on with you?” The girl asked when Sousuke joined her side.

“What do you mean?”

“Those people make you act weird.” They started walking towards the hall. “What’s up with the brother of your friend? You completely ignore him while he stares at you pretty desperate for your attention.”

Sousuke cringed. “It’s a long story.”

“Care to tell?”

“Don’t really want to, to be fair,” he sighed. “He’s a bad memory. Not completely, it’s just…”

“Is he your ex?” she furrowed her eyebrows.

“No,” he laughed. “Well, very shortly saying… We were besties at a very young age. Then he left me because he found himself a dude he wanted to swim relays with…”

“Asshole.”

Sousuke sighed. “Later he left to Australia. Completely cut contact with me, apparently he hit a wall. Then came back to Japan but did not contact me anyway, he went to his buddies he kicked me for. It was around the time I was dealing with never having a chance to become a pro swimmer again… So I thought I will reunite us even though I wasn’t sure if he wanted us to, since he did not call or anything… And it was alright, but he was hurting me as much as making me happy.” He shrugged. “I was really not well then, and he did not notice anything, he was blabbering about his friends all the time like… God it fucking hurt,” he added quietly, more to himself. She looked at him, sadness visible in her eyes. “It was just so damn upsetting to forgive and excuse him all the time, when he was not appreciating or noticing anything. You know when you do a lot for someone and they do not give a fuck and they give everything to a dickhead that did nothing…”

“I know what you mean.” She took her hand in his. “You know you have me and those two puppets now,” she laughed, trying to cheer up the atmosphere. “He is not worth getting upset over. He did not deserve to be your friend. You don’t need him. Look who you became without anyone’s help. Even though others were constantly disappointing you, after he let you down even though you looked for support from him and did so much for your relationship, after you were forced to find another dream. You are the strongest. The best.” She smiled encouragingly.

Sousuke squeezed her hand a little, eyes casted down.

*

Gou watched her brother playing with his food. She was in such a difficult situation. On one hand she had her brother, her blood, being so upset over the whole issue. Regretting his decisions. Paid for his stupid decisions in ways Sousuke probably did not even know about, unless he was following Rin’s career without telling her.

She wanted to tell Sousuke that Rin got better and he will prove himself, if only Sousuke would give him a chance. But on the other hand she had Sousuke who she wanted to protect with everything because while she believed that he’s okay now and definitely stronger, she heard enough from Ai about people relapsing. Depression could always come back. And she did not know if she trusted her own brother enough, if he really changed enough to not hurt Sousuke again. She wouldn’t forgive herself if Rin would break him.

No one talked about Sousuke to Rin, knowing that he cut contact with him. They seemed a little surprised with how easily Sousuke dissed Rin, but kept quiet.

Gou wasn’t surprised that they did not see Sousuke’s point, they all thought he just felt backstabbed by Rin, and they understood it. If they knew that because of Rin’s self-centerness he could have ended up hurting himself, they would probably never speak to Rin again, especially Ai and Momo who were still slightly ticket off with how Rin treated them when he was in Samezuka.

This was the reason Sousuke never told anyone about his depression, only Gou after a few good years. He did not want to put the burden on Rin’s shoulders from the beginning, did not want Rin to be fake because he’d feel responsible, and of course did not want him to pay later for not knowing and upsetting Rin with making him aware.

While that wasn’t Rin’s fault, Gou did want to slap him. How could he not notice anything? They were sleeping in one room for months. Even if Sousuke wasn’t so depressed, later finding out what he went through when he finally told him, Rin proved himself to be as inconsiderate as always. How could he left just after Sousuke told him about losing his dream? Their dream. If anyone then Rin could imagine how it had to feel. But he simply ran away like always. And that to help the one who Sousuke detested the most. While Sousuke even went to Haru to ensure Rin would have his rival, Rin did not do anything but stabbed him in the back again. They were best friends and no matter what, depressed or not, Rin should have been there for Sousuke. Sousuke shouldn’t have worked so hard for simple attention and consideration from him. Rin should have figured out simple facts like hearing about iwatobi would hurt Sousuke. God, even if it were simply about Rin leaving him all those years ago to move to Iwatobi and later Australia where he completely cut contact – the fact that Sousuke reunited them and completely forgave him even though Rin did not act sorry… even simply for that Rin did not appreciate what Sousuke did. No thank you, no sorry. But her brother was always like that, expecting but not giving much himself. Not seeing his flaws. Thinking that if he’d leave for ten years and then come back everything would be just the same, everybody waiting for him.

She would always love him no matter what, but those were his biggest flaws. Unfortunately one that not many could deal with.

Gou tried to imagine losing a dream she’d worked so hard for and that for years. It made her shiver. The fact that Sousuke managed to stand on his legs after Rin only made it worse when Sousuke simply looked for support, which he should have received considering Rin called them best friends, was amazing and proved to Gou how strong Sousuke is. This was why she had no heart to tell him to give her brother another chance. Sousuke’s strength shouldn’t be used against him all the time, just because he could deal with a lot was not the reason to make him. 

But she could see Sousuke fighting with himself, too. She could see her brother acting completely lifeless.

What was she supposed to do?


	7. Part 7

Sousuke looked around the hall, seeing swimmers preparing for their individual races, the judges already sitting, waiting for them, talking and laughing with each other.

He couldn’t help feeling a little jealous.

He did not regret his choice to quit swimming. Well, he called it his own choice but it wasn’t, really, was it? He did start thinking about giving it a go after a few weeks in America, and the doctors told him clearly that he could try but because he hurt his shoulder again in Samezuka, the possibility of it snapping once again was big. The psychologist basically informed him that he is not healthy enough psychologically to go through the disappointment for the god knows which time. 

Sousuke agreed. He barely kept it together after what happened in Samezuka. If he’d start training and everything would go to hell again…

He did not want to think about it.

Lectures and seminars, trips, work, partying… everything filled his time well enough, luckily. He still swam, and was lucky enough to find himself a friend who was in a pretty similar situation to him, needing to quit the professional world, too. They had their own competitions. At some point the trainer caught them and asked why they aren’t in his team. When they explained the situation he told them that they are welcome to come to the practice when they will have time anyway. His friend loved pretending he is actually training for the Olympics, and then drank himself unconscious with Sousuke by his side on the days everybody went and they stayed. Sousuke held himself a little better and instead helped others who were amazed by how far he went at such a young age. He sort of became the second trainer, which made him feel pretty amazing. What hurt him the most all this time was that years of training, so much hard work, was for nothing. His new friends proved that it wasn’t.

The swimmers were great guys, too, not looking down on them, instead held competitions with them like they really were part of the team training for Olympics. He will always love swimming. Having people letting him sort of live his dream… It was healing. After some time remembering that even though he is swimming, but he needs to stop on fake competitions, wasn’t hurting so much anymore.

But the broken dream will always upset him.

It was friend’s and his idea to make the charity about swimming since they were aware how to make it right, and knowing it’s around the time swimmers look for sponsors. As expected, they all showed up. 

It would be so ironic if he’d end up sponsoring Rin. He did not really think that Gou had any expectations, neither Rin, but he’d definitely prefer if Rin would prove himself to be the best today so Sousuke would not need to face them after choosing someone else. Besides, he spotted a few of his friends, too.

Keep it professional, Sousuke, keep it professional…

*

“Do you think he wishes he could stand on the other side?” Nagisa asked, sitting in the audience with his friends.

“I don’t know, after all he accomplished more than he could as a swimmer, right?” Rei shrugged. “Look at Rin. Soon he will need to look for another job and he never worked for anything else. While he was swimming, Sousuke was working for his future. Now he is rich, owns a company, and he can only get better and better. I think what he accomplished is amazing.”

“He’s badass, he is,” Momo clapped his hands to the music with Sora sitting on his knees, copying him. “I think this life suits him better. But I think he wishes he could have swam as long as he wanted and then rock the world business wise.”

“No one deserves their dreams to be stolen from them, especially since he worked so hard for his. Such things should be our choices alone,” said Makoto.

“He put all the strength he had for swimming in business. So imagine how far he would go in the swimming world, if he only could. He was damn talented, too,” added Ai.

“Stop making it all sad, guys.” Gou looked at her hands. “Let’s focus on the good stuff today.”

“I think it’s interesting that even though he and Rin took different paths and completely cut contact they ended up meeting again working for the same thing,” Momo grinned.

“Star-crossed lovers,” his brother sitting by him whispered loudly, making Momo laugh.

“I thought the same,” Ai laughed quietly, too.

“And you all say that I read too many romance books!” Gou shook her head but she was smiling.

“We simply saw it all written on your face,” commented Makoto, so he got a slap in the arm from Gou.

“They were together?” asked Haru, curious. “I thought there was something between them, but…”

They looked at him in shock, as he was quiet pretty much since arrival.

“No.” Gou answered. “But there’s something that pulls them together all the time, no matter how hard they try to stay away from each other, it’s interesting, don’t you think.”

Haru shrugged; clearly embarrassed he even started the conversation.

“Souuuusuke!” Sora suddenly stood on Momo’s knees and waved, making everybody look at them.

“Sit down!” Momo started laughing and tried to pull him down.

“CAN I HAVE A BALOON?!” Sora pointed at the balloons that were attached to the jury’s table.

Gou tried to cover his mouth, waving ‘no’ to Sousuke, but Sora slapped her hand off and started jumping, waving his hands in Sousuke’s direction.

Sousuke was standing frozen at first but then laughed and said something to the judges who helped him untie the balloons. His friend who just showed up looked at him confused and Sousuke said something to him. While Sousuke made his way to them, holding a bunch of balloons, the guy started blowing up new balloons, others helping him.

*

Rin covered his face, standing behind his teammates, and his shoulders shook from laughing. They looked at him confused.

*

“There you are,” Sousuke crouched by Sora, who squealed with happiness and took the balloons from him.

“I am so sorry, Sousuke.” Gou pulled the balloons lower so they wouldn’t obstruct others’ view.

“What are you talking about,” he laughed. “But I need to go back now, I will see you later,” he smiled to them, ruffled Sora’s hair and quickly walked away.

“Thank you!” Momo and Gou shouted.

He just waved his hand dismissively, not turning back. Some guy walked up to him and started asking him something quickly, while others began walking up to the kids in the audience, giving out balloons. Sora took another one with a grin.

“I’ve got an idea,” said Momo.

They looked at him with a question in their eyes.

“We should use Sora to make Sousuke and Rin make up.”

“Good idea,” Ai lifted his thumb.

“Leave them alone, they will talk if they will want to.” Rei shook his head.

“Hey we know them better than all of you.” Momo clapped his hands.

“You should do it.” Nagisa seemed excited, while Makoto covered his face in embarrassment.

“Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea,” murmured Gou, more to herself than anyone.

*

“I have no idea how we’re going to choose who to sponsor,” sighed Sousuke’s friend to him, watching the swimmers racing. “Can we be biased and just choose our friend?”

“Which one?” Sousuke smiled to him.

“Right,” he sighed again. “At least we don’t need to make the decision today.”

*

“Congratulations, my sweet cheeks.” Gou kissed Rin loudly on his cheek. Rin made a face.

“Good job, bro.” Momo grinned. “Let’s drink, we should celebrate!”

“I did not even win.” Rin said quietly but they just tugged him towards the park outside the hall.

They’ve spent the rest of the day playing with Sora, dancing, and eating. Haru and Rin were smoothly ignoring each other, not causing arguments. Rin continued on trying to find Sousuke, but he was nowhere in sight. It quickly turned out that he was at some meeting with other companies, as they started to gather in the park later.

Sousuke seemed exhausted; he laid on his side by his friends and grabbed a drink, downing it quickly and then closed his eyes, head on the grass.

“I found out if he is going to be judged, too,” said Gou, making Rin shift to look at her. “He will. He’s not the judge. I think he didn’t need to agree to it, since he isn’t the boss for over a year, but he did anyway.”

“Typical.” Rin hugged his knees. “Always first to fight.”

Gou laughed, nodding. “Still the same Sousuke.”

Rin smiled weakly.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” A man with a grey beard appeared on a small stage, big screen on his left. He smiled. “The results for the best company of this year are here!”

Rin watched Sousuke lifting himself up, brushing grass off his clothes. His friends quickly stood after him, as did other bosses and those few employees each of them decided to take with themselves.

That’s when he spotted the guy he saw yesterday. It seemed he was an employee of another company, since he was standing behind an older man that was the only one in suit instead of suit pants and a shirt with company’s logo. Rin furrowed his eyebrows. Why did this guy threaten Sousuke?

They watched ten logos that slowly showed up on screen. Sousuke was standing with his arms crossed on his chest, and even though he looked sure of himself, it’s the little tapping of his fingers of his right hand that reminded Rin of his nervous gesture. The girl was holding the side of his shirt, nervous herself, starring intensely at the screen. Two guys were pretty much jumping on their feet. It was a pretty adorable image to watch, they were so young compared to all the other bosses.

Slowly logos started to disappear, a few moments between each. It stopped when only two were left.

Sousuke’s and what it seemed the man’s who employed the one who threatened Sousuke, as they faced each other. The grey haired man sent him a kind smile, but it seemed fake even from far. Sousuke let a short laugh out, obviously spotting it, too, and then faced the screen taking a deep breath in. He grinned when the girl cuddled up to his side, throwing his arm around her. She covered her face, not wanting to look. The two other friends laughed at her but were jumping on their feet nervously.

“Well, well, well, ladies and gentlemen.” The man with microphone smiled. “So which company did the best this year, huh? The oldest one or the one with youngest boss?”

“Youngest!” Momo and Gou shouted together, laughing when others looked at them. They clapped their hands together. Sousuke smiled at them, mouthing “thank you”.

The logos started circling each other, there was even music playing in the background.

Finally they both started fading…

And suddenly Sousuke’s logo brightened up, making the other disappear.

“YEAH!!!” Rin did not even know who screamed, but he quickly started clapping with others, laughing when Momo and Gou bumped against each other. Sousuke stood in shock, mouth open, until his friends pulled him into a hug. Rin smiled seeing him blinking quickly, brushing off little happy tears from his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

The girl hugged him even tighter, placing a kiss on his cheek. He grinned, hugging her back. That’s when Rin spotted him looking at the guy who threatened him yesterday. Sousuke had a sly smile on his face, the man was gritting his teeth together, hands curled into fists. He looked ready to punch Sousuke right there.

Sousuke showed him the middle finger, hands still crossed on the girl’s back. The guy raised his hand but he dropped it as quickly. He smiled, the corner of his lips lifting, and then walked away. Sousuke furrowed his eyebrows but his friends who held glasses with champagne turned him around, taking his attention.

“Congratulations,” the man on the stage said. “As I already informed the companies during our meeting, we had slight issues with the delivery of the trophy so we will need to continue this tomorrow. Thank you everyone! Goodnight!”

The music started playing loudly again.

“Wow,” said Ai. “Holy damn.”

“No swearing in front of my kid!” Gou slapped him lightly on the arm, but she was smiling wide.

Rin looked at them all gossiping about Sousuke’s accomplishment. Even Haru who from the beginning just kept on tagging along because of Makoto, looking bored, stood with his mouth open, face stunned.

Rin turned to face Sousuke, who was jumping with his friends in a circle, like little kids. They were ecstatic, celebrating, glasses bumping against each other.

That’s my man, Rin thought proudly.

You wish, a little voice at the back of his head whispered. Rin cringed.

It did not matter. Sousuke can ignore his existence. But he’s always going to be important to Rin. And seeing him accomplishing something so big, being so happy, made him happy, too.

He just wished he were one of those friends hugging him tight right now. Crying happy tears with him. Accomplishing something amazing with him. Drinking with him. Kissing his cheek.

Being with him.

He wondered if he’d ever get over the pain of losing him.

“You know…” Rin jumped a little when Gou slipped her hand around his middle, giving him a little smile. “If you want him back, you need to make the first move. It’s your job.”

“I would,” he said quietly, eyes casted down. “It’s not that my ego stops me, I know it’s all my fault. I would if I knew I had any chance.”

“You won’t find out if you won’t try. What stops you?”

“I am sure I don’t.”

“Don’t say hop before jumping.” She ruffled his hair, the gesture encouraging. “You need to show him you care. It’s exactly because he thought you don’t that you two separated, so you need to get working now.”

He looked at her and she poked his cheek, giving him a wink.

“You can do it, brother. Show him who you are. That you’ve changed. Prove it to him. There is a reason you two have met again.”

“You really believe in fairytales, huh.” Rin laughed quietly.

“It’s up to you whether your life will end up being one.” She bumped in his shoulder.

Rin smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very thankful for all the kudos and comments :)


	8. Part 8

It was very late when Rin made his way towards the beach. Everybody went to sleep, Gou with Momo and Sora at his apartment, others at the hotel. He couldn’t sleep, thinking about what Gou said.

He did not have guts to speak to Sousuke. He continued watching him for the rest of the party, Sousuke left pretty quickly with his friends, anyway. Probably to party at some proper club.

That’s why he was surprised to find Sousuke laying at the beach, the sound of waves hitting the sand. He looked so relaxed, hands under his head, listening to the sea. Rin wasn’t sure what to do, whether to turn around and walk away, or to actually use his chance. For the first time they were completely alone.

It’s your choice whether your life will become another fairytale.

He made his way towards Sousuke slowly, biting the inside of his cheek.

“You still bend your fingers when you’re nervous.” He heard Sousuke’s voice, making him jump. “I can hear it.”

Rin opened his mouth but his voice died in his throat.

Sousuke sat up and turned to look at him. Rin closed his mouth.

“Hi,” said Rin, thankful that it was dark enough so the blush on his cheeks wouldn’t be visible.

“Hi.”

They starred at each other, not saying anything. Rin shifted from one leg to another until he finally took a deep breath and spoke; “Would you mind if I sat by you?”

“No.”

Rin awkwardly sat by him, too quickly, too eager. He glanced down at his hands, playing with the sleeve of his jumper.

“Good race today. Congratulations.”

Rin looked up at him in surprise. Sousuke was facing the sea, eyes closed.

“Thank you.” He smiled. “It’s nothing compared to what you accomplished today, though. Congratulations on being… the youngest best boss of the year?” he laughed quietly with fond. “I don’t know whose gobsmacked face was better, to be fair.”

The corners of Sousuke’s lips lifted. “It was a pretty amazing feeling.”

“I bet it was.”

“You’re talking like you never accomplished anything yourself,” said Sousuke quietly, a bit unsure. “If you’re here you obviously had to.”

Rin glanced at him. “You did not really follow what was happening in the swimming world, did you?”

“It was easier not to,” he shrugged.

Rin tried to ignore the little pain in his chest. “Right. Of course. Sorry.”

Sousuke shook his head. “I was surprised to not see Nanase by your side. When did he quit?”

Rin laughed, making him look at him for the first time. Gosh, he was gorgeous. Rin smiled.

“He gave up after first year. Or maybe not even that long.”

“This fucking waste of time,” Sousuke whispered, closing his eyes again, turning to the sea.

Ah, Rin thought, first change. Sousuke telling him what he actually thinks.

“So I’ve missed ten years of watching or reading about swimming for nothing, huh. Now I want to punch him.” Sousuke rubbed his eyes, clearly tired. Or irritated.

“You did not watch because of Haru?” he asked, confused.

“I did not want to have anything to do with the professional world at the beginning, but a coach pulled me into a swimming team, and I was sort of coaching, sort of swimming.” he began explaining. “Just nothing serious and obviously not as often. But I did not want to watch you and Nanase celebrating your medals, all happy together and shit.” Sousuke made a face, pain flashing in his eyes, and then he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know why I’m even telling you this.” He tried to stand, clearly annoyed with himself, but Rin caught his arm.

“Stay. Please.”

They looked at each other. Sousuke grit his teeth together but slowly sat back.

“Once you stopped contacting me I’ve put all my strength in swimming.” Rin was still grasping his arm, sitting close, and facing the side of his face. Sousuke stubbornly did not turn to face him back. “I did not really contact anyone apart from Gou. I did not get most of what you tried to tell me, then, I was still too stupid. But she dropped me enough hints to get that I suck as a friend and a brother. So at least I tried to make it better with her, and I think I did.” He took a deep breath. “I was pretty respected as a swimmer, did a great job over those first few months. There were quite a few competitions. I was surprised that Haru wasn’t on any, but I thought he is probably getting used to swimming professionally so maybe he did not have the best times and they did not take him,” he shrugged. “When the coach told me that I will become the team leader if I will do a good job in the final competitions, that was when Haru showed up. And the competition happened…”

“Don’t tell me he made you screw up, or I swear to God…” whispered Sousuke.

Rin smiled a little sadly. “Yeah. Well… He basically stood in the middle, as during our last swim. Stormed off… And I ran away after him.”

Sousuke hid his face in his hands. “Rin…”

“I never got given a team, I wasn’t the respected swimmer anymore but the one that left his team, the traitor, no matter my times, you know.” He patted his arm, finally letting go. “I finally paid for my mistakes.”

“I never wished for you to fail…”

“I know you did not.”

“What did he do?” asked Sousuke.

“That’s the worst, I think,” Rin said quietly. “He pushed me away, threw a fit, did not even call me when they talked on news about disqualifying me and the team I belonged to…”

“Nothing new, he always treated you like shit.”

Rin cringed, but it was true.

“Yeah, I finally started getting stuff then. I guess what you saw from the beginning.” Rin shrugged. It was interesting, really, he thought, that talking about losing respect and getting betrayed by a friend did not really bother him as much as the fact that he lost Sousuke all those years ago. It’s sad that things had to go so far for him to understand who was important and who wasn’t, though.

"Isn’t what he basically did to you last time? Threw a fit and pushed you away, excluding you from the group. But you of course ran to his rescue when his bestie snapped his fingers. Like always." Sousuke was drawing with his finger in the white sand, seemingly deep in thought but clearly finding out about Rin’s failure triggered him. "I always knew that if anything will make you lose it’s the so called friendship."

"You were right."

"You always pushed away those who’d do everything for you, Gou, Ai, Momo. They were always there for you, respected, loved you. But you preferred to help the rival team who only knew your number when they needed something, you trained them and ignored your own team for their sake."

"I know," said Rin quietly. Sousuke was like in a trance, not facing him, just letting everything out like he was waiting for this moment for years. Well, he probably was. Second change, Rin thought. Sousuke does not hide anything for his sake to not upset him. Time to hear the harsh truth from the one who was hurt the most by him.

Sousuke continued; “Nanase was never fit for the professional world and did not deserve to ever be there, so it doesn’t surprise me that he threw a fit on the soonest occasion but I thought that since he was so damn special according to you then he will at least not pull you down with him after you went so far in helping him. But it’s your fault you could never draw a line between work and the weird worship of him I could never understand.”

"I did not worship him," murmured Rin, hugging his knees.

"You did. All your teammates stood on their heads working their asses off because their coach was preaching hard work so much… Only to continuously blabber about some dude who did not know what it means, who was saved by his talent and nothing else because he never worked for anything, spending his life in a bathtub acting like a brat yet being treated like a special snowflake by everybody. He pushed you away, people expected you to say sorry. He threw a fit, you took him to fucking Australia. And then he threw another fit, you fucked yourself up for him and he did not even support you. His little worshippers did not help you either. You had so many amazing people to cheer for, but you preferred to be a hypocrite preaching one thing and doing another. Adoring the one that was the opposite of what you believed in. And when someone who would do everything for you tried to warn you, told you to look at your own team instead at those losers, you told them to shut up…"

"I know!" Rin choked on his tears, shaking, and Sousuke looked up surprised, snapping out of the trance, finally facing him. "I know I was a hypocrite! I know I was a shit coach! I know I was self centered and unfair! I know I fucked up! I know I stood behind the wrong person! I know I did not appreciate what you did, worse, did not see what you were going through, did not understand how awful I was to you! I know everything! I…" He hugged his knees tighter, shaking even more, but he did not turn his head away, looking straight in Sousuke’s eyes. "I am so sorry, Sousuke. So sorry for everything. For leaving, for not apologizing, for not being thankful, for everything… I am so sorry…" he whispered, tears running down his cheeks.

"Rin…" Sousuke reached to wipe his tears off but quickly stopped himself. "No, look, I am sorry, I shouldn’t have…" he looked embarrassed for letting himself snap so much.

"Don’t apologise. Don’t. Apologise." Rin wiped his tears off, and grabbed the front of Sousuke’s shirt to make him look straight in his eyes. "It is all my fault. Look," he took a deep breath in to calm himself down. "I gave you all the right to hate me. I understand why you pretend I do not exist. You did the right thing looking for your happiness instead of going after me, I am so happy that even though I’ve hurt you so much you accomplished the best, luckily you were always so strong. I am not excusing myself, it did not make my actions any better," he added quickly. "Just because you could deal with so much more did not give me or anyone the right to use it. I did not use it. I was just fucking stupid. I…"

"Rin…" Sousuke grasped his wrists, shocked by his words, but Rin shook his head.

"This is not about me.” Rin continued. “I did not want to talk to you for my sake, because I am so upset that I have lost you. I wanted you to know that I get it. I finally get what you tried to tell me. Took me forever but I got it. And I know it is too late to make up and pretend like nothing happened. This is not what I am trying to do, neither looking for forgiveness to make myself feel better. I don’t want anything from you. I just want you to know that if you ever, ever needed something, you can count on me. I know it’s stupid.” He let a short, sad laugh out. “I know you do not need me. It’ just… If you ever thought that there’s something I could do, just tell me… Anything… Maybe one day you are going to be okay with just meeting for a beer?” He smiled brokenly, and noticed how tightly he was holding Sousuke and let him go. “Anything,” he whispered again.

“Don’t cry.” Sousuke touched his cheekbone with his thumb, wiping a few tears off.

“I am sorry that I am so pathetic now.” Rin sniffed, trying to hold back tears, but they were escaping anyway. “I went out to think about a speech that would say everything coherently and wouldn’t include crying, but…”

“At least I know you’re honest,” said quietly Sousuke. “A speech wouldn’t be sincere, would it?” he smiled a little.

“It would be sincere, too.” He mumbled.

“This definitely sounded sincere, though.”

Rin nodded, blinking back tears finally, swallowing hard. He had to pull himself together finally. He felt exhausted but there was certain lightness in him that he did not feel for awhile.

“Thank you for telling me all of this.”

Rin looked up and smiled unsurely at him.

“Thank you for giving me a chance.”

Sousuke sighed, facing the sea. He looked as tired as Rin felt.

*

“Do you think he went to see Sousuke?” Gou turned to look at Momo who whispered it. They were both sleeping in Rin’s bed and heard the door closing after him.

“I hope so,” she whispered back.

“It’d be great if they’d make up.”

“I am so worried for them,” she said quietly. “I don’t know if it would be better for them to get together or not.”

Momo smiled cheerfully. “Everybody deserves a second chance!”

“I think you mean third…”

“Uhmm, right…”

“Sousuke was hurt by Rin, more than once, but Rin regrets it so much. I want to believe that he changed, I can see he finally saw his mistakes, but what if he will hurt him again? What if Sousuke will push him away and not even let him talk?”

“He will let him talk… I guess if Sousuke’d give him another chance then he’d take it slowly, instead of jumping into a relationship, putting all of his trust in Rin just like that. They’re both wiser now, it’s been ten years… Less chance for them to screw it up.”

“I just want them both to be happy,” she sighed, cuddling up to him. “That’s all.”

“Well, it’s all in their hands now,” he smiled, playing with her hair. “Don’t worry about it, they’re big guys.” Momo let a laugh out. “It’s important that Rin understood his mistakes. Now it’s all up to them. I am sure that if they are going to meet then they will both just let it all out.”

“You think?”

“Ten years of holding back? Just think about it.”

She sighed. “Maybe that’s what they need.”

Momo nodded. “It’s going to be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please at least leave a kudo if you are reading the story :)  
> Thank you!


	9. Part 9

Rin sat by Sousuke for awhile, not saying anything. They were both quiet, simply listening to the sea. It was calming, the sound washing away all the stress. Rin thought about leaving, thinking maybe Sousuke wants to be left alone, to think about what he said, but he could not make himself leave. It was like something stuck him to the ground since Sousuke allowed him to sit by him and talk.

It made him smile to think that even after all this years this was the man he felt at most peace with. Some things just never change.

He could remember the day Haru screwed him up. He was angry when Haru threw a fit and pushed him away, blaming everything on him when he tried to help. Funnily the first thought that crossed his mind was that Sousuke would never do it.

Sousuke who suffered alone for months to simply not sadden him, swam even though he was in extreme pain, hid all his suffering just so Rin would have accomplished everything Sousuke could not anymore but Rin wanted without anything making him lose focus… Just so he would not cry. Ensuring Rin would do his best and achieve his dream.

Haru never gave a damn for Rin’s career. Sousuke was ready to do everything for Rin while not getting anything back, listening to his constant blabbering about Haru which had to hurt so much, especially considering that Haru really did not deserve his admiration.

And yet Rin ran to save Haru when Makoto called, leaving behind Sousuke who finally told him everything. Haru who threw a fit because he did not want to do anything after school.

Pathetic.

He left Sousuke who only had him and needed him so much because of real reasons to run to help a guy who did not give a damn and already had everyone petting his hair. Rin told him all the sweetest words, lied, spoiled him to have him simply stop being a brat. Petting a spoiled brat on the head never helps.

He was already mad at Haru then, the fact that all his hard work and loss of Sousuke did not even get him a little bit of consideration from Haru, but when he really needed someone’s support and Haru did not even call, neither anybody else, that was when he snapped. It was true that they knew his number when they needed something, but when he needed help…

Sousuke would never do it to you. That was what was singing in his brain whenever he looked at the water since then.

He finally saw what it was all about. Running after the one who treated him like crap, ignoring the one who did everything for him, leaving him twice… Not appreciating, not saying sorry, not saying thank you to the one who deserved it. Rin got what he deserved.

Rin wished he never took anyone for granted. Haru did not give a damn so he saw him as a challenge. Sousuke and Gou, his team, they were always there, so he thought they are always going to be.

Fool.

If he could only turn back time.

Rin looked at Sousuke who was lying on the sand, eyes closed. He stopped a laugh escaping his throat when he heard a little snore.

“Sousuke,” he said quietly, touching his shoulder.

He woke up and quickly sat up, mumbling a “what?” and looked at him unconsciously to shake his head in order to wake himself up. Rin laughed.

“Shush, you. I haven’t slept since I’ve arrived here,” he murmured, stretching his arms.

“Well I am glad you feel that comfortable with me.” Rin smiled cheekily but blushed when Sousuke looked at him. “I mean…”

“I guess some things just do not change, huh?” Sousuke rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah,” he whispered. I just thought the same… “Can I… Can I show you something?” he asked unsurely.

Sousuke starred surprised, and then shrugged. “Sure.”

“Come with me.” Rin stood up quickly, and brushed the sand off his pants.

Sousuke followed him once he started walking towards their left. It took them awhile to reach the place Rin wanted to show Sousuke. He looked curious at the cave that he did not even notice in the dark, far away.

Rin walked inside the hole and he followed him there. They walked in the dark, pretty small space for a few seconds. When they finally could straighten their backs, Sousuke’s jaw dropped.

The place was round and he could see stars, as the cave was open at the top. There was a waterfall and white sand all around the lake where it was falling.

“Oh my God.”

Rin smiled at him. “I thought you might like it.”

“Wow.”

“I always wanted to show you this place.” Rin started bending his fingers again. “I never showed it to anyone else.”

“Even Nanase?” he asked, before slapping his own cheek lightly. “Sorry. Ignore the bitter man.” Sousuke walked towards the small waterfall, Rin following him, and once he reached it he put his hands in it grinning like a kid.

“Honest, not bitter.” Rin unsurely touched his back with the palm of his hand. “No, it was always for you. Us. I sort of daydreamed that maybe one day you will show up… You know.” Rin blushed and shrugged trying to make it seem like nothing when Sousuke faced him.

“Funny we ended up working for the same cause, in the same place, even though we chose different paths, right?” he smiled, sprinkling a bit of water in Rin’s face to cheer him up.

Rin slapped his arm, but he was grinning. “And once again it’s thanks to you.”

Sousuke shook his head. “I didn’t know whether you’re going to attend, whether you still live here…”

“No,” Rin interrupted, ignoring the little stab, sitting down by the lake. “I know you did not come here for me. But if not this decision then who knows if we would ever see each other again.” Now it hit him how it was such a big possibility. He lived everyday thinking that they will one day, but what if they wouldn’t have? And it was Sousuke who ensured it, once again. At least Rin spoke first…

Sousuke sat by him. “No matter how far we run away from each other, we end up together anyway, whether we intend to or not,” he stated quietly.

“It was never about running away from you,” Rin whispered, looking down at his hands. “I left both times because I was selfish so I did not think what leaving means, expected people to just wait for me each time…” He put his face in his hands. “I just took everyone for granted. I thought you will come to Australia soon and there was nothing wrong with what I decided to do.” He shook his head.

“Well, I did not help you not saying anything.”

“I should have known. I called myself your best friend.”

“You were my best friend. Well, the only friend.” He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“I know I was an asshole to leave you after everything you told me, to help Haru who had everybody else already babysitting him. You had no one and yet I…”

“Goodness.” Sousuke faced him, surprised. “You really thought all of this through, huh?”

“Well.” He played with the sleeve of his jumper. “Gou sort of helped.”

“Sort of?” he laughed. “Sounds to me like she wrote you a list of all the sins.”

“She gave me a few hints so I will get the actual point.”

“She guilt tripped you well.”

“I did not say anything I did not actually think.” Rin faced him; worried Sousuke will take it wrong.

“You seriously did not bring Nanase here?” Sousuke asked.

Rin looked at him not believing he is hearing it, making Sousuke laugh.

“Well, damn then.” Sousuke stood up and Rin furrowed his eyebrows when he went to the wall and took out his keys from the back pocket. He quickly went after him seeing him engraving something with them.

“SR?”

“I’d add ‘been here’ but it’s a bitch trying to engrave anything.” Sousuke looked annoyed, digging harder.

Rin laughed but he couldn’t stop his heart from beating faster. “Thank you.”

“You got your wish. And I got mine.”

“Which was?”

“I wanted to have something special with you ten years ago.” Sousuke shrugged, still engraving.

Rin touched his shoulder. “You always had. More than one thing. I just never said anything thinking you just know… I am sorry.” Just let me turn back time…

“No, we did not. It was always Nanase this and that, right in my face every single damn time…”

“Swimming.” Rin’s hold tightened. “I liked being his rival, thought there’s something in his swimming, I don’t even know why anymore. Because he was pushing me away he basically became a challenge himself. I was a brat, I did not see the real deal. Like an asshole I was ensured that you are always going to be by my side so I did not bother to prove to you how important you are to me. I was blind. I thought you just know.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “It was me trying and him just not giving a fuck, treating me like I was an annoying brat,” he laughed. “But there was nothing else. I could not even hold a conversation with him. I wanted to be on one team with you, not swim against you because you were so much more important. Remember how amazing it were to be captains together. I know I sucked now, but… It was great to have you by my side; I’d fail without you… Once I matured I finally realised how much more worth and respect held competitions, any competitions with you. How good you were and he was not worth anything. You were always more than he was. It was you who I could talk with for hours. It was you I wanted to live here with. It was you who I knew understood me without talking. This was why I based everything on you just knowing it, like some things don’t need to be said. It was you I played paper-rock-scissors with, did fistbumping with… Sousuke, please…” He grasped his arm, eyes pleading.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Sousuke whispered, head down, hands in hair, pulling slightly. “I know you are sincere. But I just… He’s always going to be…”

“He’s gone from my life.”

“He’s fucking here…”

“Because he’s stuck to Makoto’s side and Gou keeps in contact with Makoto, mainly because he teaches Sora to swim at Iwatobi swim club. She told everybody to meet in Australia, knowing I won’t come to Japan to them. She wanted to do a bit of reuniting knowing I’m lonely, to cheer me up. They all have plans to go wherever soon. Haru went after Makoto, Nagisa and Rei after them because they heard about their plans… Only Gou, Momo, his bro, Sora, and Ai are here for me. Well, I guess in reality guys are here for Gou.”

Sousuke was quiet, starring at the ground.

“Sousuke,” he whispered. “I told you I do not expect anything from you. And I do not. But I am not going to hide that I’d do everything to have you back by my side. I’d do everything to gain your trust, or maybe a tiny bit of sympathy back, if you only gave me a chance. If you’d just let me prove myself… I am so sorry…”

Sousuke was looking down at his hands. When Rin saw him quickly lifting them to press against his eyes, he noticed Sousuke was crying.

“Sou…” He automatically moved to bring his arms around him, hugging him tight. Sousuke did not push him away, instead pulled him even closer. “Shh, it’s ok,” he whispered in his ear, feeling him trying to stop the tears, a few that escaped wet on his neck. “It’s ok…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please at least leave a kudo if you're reading the story :)  
> Thank you so much to those who comment! It means a lot! <3


	10. Part 10

Sousuke never fought so hard with himself.

It was so clear that Rin was being honest. That he truly was sorry.

But when you get hurt twice in the same way, by the same person, you start to fear. He decided to not follow Rin ten years ago knowing that it would be signing a contract to keep on getting hurt. He didn’t go to America hoping that Rin would get the point and run after him. But he did silently hope that one day they would meet and he’d simply say sorry.

Sousuke would never dare to bet on it, though.

The wounds Rin created never healed. Not seeing him helped a lot, but it all came back to him the second he saw him. If Rin have acted the way he did ten, fifteen years ago then it wouldn’t be problematic, but his apologetic eyes were haunting him since the beginning.

He could hear him begging to give him another chance, even when he was saying he wants nothing.

Rin being so sincere, so sorry, broke something in him. He couldn’t just leave and ignore him. And he could not stop thinking how in his company he felt at such ease.

Rin begging him to give him a chance, Rin he could not recognise…

Sousuke couldn’t remember the last time he actually cried. Rin started crying with him, making him smile and at least gather himself together, but he did not move, letting Rin desperately cling.

Sousuke wanted him as much as he was afraid of having him.

“We should go back,” Sousuke said quietly in his ear. “It’s nearly morning.”

Rin nodded but did not move.

“I’d carry you but you’re not exactly small, and I’m not exactly the strongest anymore, either.”

Rin cringed and quickly pulled away. “Your shoulder…”

“Hmm?” He cocked his head.

“You said you joined a swimming team, why you did not train for Olympics?” he asked unsurely.

Sousuke was quiet for a moment. “There was a possibility for it to break again, I did not want to risk it,” he shrugged.

Rin looked at him sadly but quickly smiled. “Well, if you chose swimming then you’d need to be looking for something else to do now, like me. But you did not waste time and now have everything and you can only get better. You win.”

“Goodness,” Sousuke shook his head. “Ten years ago you proved to me there’s no way to be your friend if I won’t swim, look at you now…” He laughed quietly. “Well, at least you could have lived your dream, mine was stolen away from me in one snap after I devoted my life to it.”

“I know,” he whispered. “You deserved it more than anyone.” He was quiet for a moment. “Why are you saying I chose a swimmer over you, I don’t…” Rin looked emotionally drained.

“Didn’t you? You kicked me in the ass right after I asked you to be my friend whether I will swim or not to run after the lazy piece of shit of a swimmer.” Sousuke turned away from him, frustrated. “I did not expect much from you, apart from the ‘you idiot’, because most of the time we both sucked at showing emotions and saying the right thing. But then you ran to Nanase five seconds later and later I’ve heard you told him all the nicest shit…”

“How did you…”

“I heard him blabbering to his friends about you saying how much you adore him, how special he is, and you have nothing to aim for without him… to be fair that part pissed me off the most.” He shook his head. “I’ve learned that you do open to people, just of course not me. Once again something for the ungrateful piece of shit instead.”

“The point of this trip was to make him move his ass, that’s why I told him all of that, that I adore him and have nothing to aim for without him so maybe he will feel responsibility and move…”

“He did not give a fuck when I told him to swim for you.”

“You… you two talked?”

“Yes. As much as I hated him, I loved you so much that I did not care about my dignity and went to him because I knew you’re dependent on him, as much as I hated that too.”

Rin closed his eyes. “That’s not how it was… I was never… God, Sousuke, you want to know what explanation I gave him for adoring him? That I have never lost to anyone else.”

“I’m used to you forgetting about my existence for his sake, so it doesn’t surprise me you forgot I beat your ass before he did. Or him beating your ass was more special? I forgot he is.” Sousuke rolled his eyes. “I was surprised you and iwatobi dudes did not make him a statue for being the most special snowflake, it was creepy watching you all worshipping him instead of being friends who say the truth not lick the asshole, and then you were surprised he acted like a brat. But I seriously stopped expecting anything normal from you when you forgot about your whole school to throw them a fucking party with stupid flowers in the swimming pool to highlight to your whole school how you will always care more about them than anyone else. It was enough that they glanced at you, especially Nanase, and you ran in his arms crying how special he is and thanking him or all of them for existence while everyone else could stand on their heads and you did not give a shit. I’ve spent all those months wondering if you were even happy that I reunited us because you acted like you did not give a shit whether I was there or not most of the time, I did not hear a thanks or sorry, no, I just heard about how special they are and fuck off when I tried to say something. Even fucking Rei or whatever his name was who you knew for a few weeks, but he belonged to the asslickers of Nanase so obviously he was more special than your apparent best friend, huh? Even though you needed to break to have them move their asses and finally help you, they were like Gods to you. It would take me five fucking seconds to figure out what’s wrong and help you, but no, they were so much fucking special. And you doing everything for them because they just snapped their fingers… Fucking hell.” Sousuke stood up and walked away, taking a few calming breaths in, hands in his pockets. “This is why it won’t work, I am still so pissed at this bullshit that it will always come back…”

“I. Lied. To. Him.” Rin said loud and clear, quickly standing to face him and grabbed his arms. “The point was to make him feel good about himself and needed. I understand why you think I worshipped him, them, like I said I needed to feel on my own skin that it was never worth it. I know I acted like a fucking idiot but what I told him was bullshit! Of course I was happy you found me, because I was too much of a coward to look for you after everything that happened! After I left you to go there and acted like it’s no biggie, after I left to Australia and stopped contacting you… And that fucking unfortunate letter, I am still disgusted with what I did, that I did not need anyone to tell me that it was wrong, trust me…”

Sousuke gritted his teeth together, looking away. Rin could feel how tense he was, trying to stop himself from snapping again.

“I could never open to you so easily because you were most important to me. Talking to him especially considering I was saying bullshit was easy,” Rin whispered. “I know all the awful things I did, and I know me not fucking talking made you think I was even worse… but… just think about it, if he were that important I’d tell him to move with me to Australia or I’d stay for him in Japan, go to the same university, but I left and asked YOU to come with me, remember when I was so excited to swim with you in Japan on the same team? I never wanted that with him. In swimming you were more important, too. He was my rival, nothing else…” he growled in frustration when he felt tears on his cheeks again. “Sousuke, he was NEVER more important than you. Ever.”

Sousuke did not say anything, he just pushed him arms away and sat back by the lake. They were quiet for awhile, only the waterfall disturbing the silence. Rin did not sit by him, giving him space he obviously needed. He was aware Sousuke will probably need a lot longer than one night and did not expect him to figure everything out tonight. Now he saw how long Sousuke was keeping everything inside, the anger growing bigger and bigger. Hearing Sousuke saying it all made Rin aware how hurt he was all those years, how unfair the situation seemed to him. How unfair it was.

“Sousuke?”

He sighed, looking as emotionally drained as Rin felt. “Yes?”

“Why you really did not try to swim again?”

“I told you.”

“You still shrug and look away when you’re lying.”

Sousuke gaped at him. “I wasn’t lying.”

“Then you weren’t telling the full truth.” Rin cocked his head, face worried.

Sousuke was silent for awhile. “I told you in the forest then that I was breaking down over and over again. I did not want to break again, wasn’t sure if…” he snapped his mouth shut. “I just did not want to break again, that’s all.”

“I underestimated what you’ve told me there.” Rin said quietly, voice dead. “I thought that one race fixed everything but it wasn’t about the race, was it, it was about us and what was supposed to be after. And that helping you…” Rin paled.

“Rin.” Sousuke stood up and grasped Rin’s chin to make him look at him. “Don’ t blame yourself for things I did not tell you ten years ago…”

“But you did,” he whispered, throat tight. “You told me you were breaking down, and I chose fucking denial…”

“I only said breaking down for a reason. I did not want to put so much on your shoulders, I wanted you to be honest, not being with me out of pity…”

“Then I proved myself well, eh?” Rin moved away a few steps, taking a few deep breaths in to calm himself down. “You were sick and I did not notice it…”

“I did not want you to notice it.”

“I always said that we understand each other without words, but I did not notice ANYTHING.” Rin pressed the palm of his hands against his eyes, frustrated trying to stop his tears. “I am such a fucking…”

“Rin.” Sousuke walked up to him and quickly turned him to face him, grabbing his shoulders. “Listen to me. Do not blame yourself for that. It was not your fault that I got sick. Not your fault that I couldn’t get out of it…”

“If I wasn’t such a fucking awful friend maybe you’d get out of it, that’s why you found me, but I only upset you more…” Rin choked on his words, shoulders shaking.

“I did not look for you so you’d fix me. I just wanted to be with you. I thought it was my fault we separated, too.”

“It wasn’t your fault! I left because I was an inconsiderate bastard!”

Sousuke laughed. “I know,” he smiled at him. “Neither was yours that you did not notice me being sick.”

“I should have noticed. I should have figured it out.” Rin shook his head. “I was watching you all the time, I knew there’s something wrong, but I’d never… I just did not want to see anything, I ignored it all for my sake like if I did not speak of it then it would disappear…”

Sousuke laughed and moved to sit down again. “I was doing the same thing, but apparently that’s not how it works, unfortunately.” He looked upset.

“Was it really bad?” Rin whispered and Sousuke turned to glance at him standing there appearing lost. “Did I make it a lot worse?”

He sighed.

“I was on anti-depressants so it wasn’t that bad. Started taking more in Samezuka, stopped taking at all in America. Old story.” He patted the sand by his side, telling him to sit by him. Rin slowly did.

Rin hugged his knees. “I am so sorry, Sousuke. So fucking sorry…”

“Come on.” Sousuke ruffled his hair. “It’s over. No more crying today okay? I am going to shut up, too, I promise.”

“I needed to hear all of this, I am glad you told me.” Rin wiped tears off his face. “Don’t ever stop yourself from telling me what you really think, please.”

Sousuke glanced at him and then lay down. Arms supporting his head, he starred at the stars.

He already felt better without all the toxic feelings burning his insides. It was easier to breath, to think.

Was he ready to start his relationship with Rin again, though?

He really did not know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are very appreciated <3 Thank you to every single person who left a kudo and even bigger thank you to those who took their time to comment, it really makes my day <3


	11. Part 11

They finally made their way out of the cave, seeing that it’s getting light. Both of them stood quiet outside the beach, aware that they need to go opposite ways.

“I live at the hotel on the right.” Sousuke pointed there, making Rin glance at the tall building made of glass.

“I live on the left.” He smiled a little, trying to get the courage. “Will I see you tomorrow? Well, today,” he finally asked.

“They extended the park party for one more day so I am going to be there.”

“Right, you need to pick the trophy.” Rin nodded. “There are competitions tomorrow.”

“Are they?” Sousuke looked surprised. “You’re attending?”

“Yes. It’s my last one.”

Sousuke gaped at him for a moment in shock. “Why?”

“It’s time to give up.” Rin smiled, shrugging.

“You’ve got any other plans?”

“Nope.”

Sousuke starred at him without blinking.

“I saved some money. I wanted to travel the world, but Sora is growing so fast I don’t want to miss a whole year or more…” Rin rubbed the back of his neck.

Sousuke raised his eyebrows. “You staying for someone else?”

“You don’t believe that people change?”

“Not you.”

Rin stopped smiling, and looked down. “I don’t blame you. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I will run away from everything and everyone soon anyway.”

“Rin, you do know that considering others does not mean you need to stop considering yourself?” Sousuke asked, hands in his pockets. “That was the issue you always had. You could never do both. The point of living is not sacrificing yourself for others, doing everything for them and nothing for yourself. It is about mixing both.”

“How can I mix travelling the world and not missing Sora and others?” he whispered, bending his fingers.

“By having holiday often, every single time to another place, instead of completely leaving.” Sousuke laughed. “It’s not that difficult. Although, of course, that would cost you more. So, if you do not have that much money, you need to ask yourself if maybe losing a year won’t be that big of a deal. I am pretty sure that if you’re going to send him postcards and presents from each place, then he will mind a little less.” He winked to him. “It’s not like there are no skypes and facetimes and everything else now, too.”

He nodded. “Do you have any plans? Are you staying in Australia for some time? Or going for holiday somewhere else?” Rin asked quickly, feeling like he might not have a chance to ask later. Even though they were supposed to meet later, he did not want to take the chance for granted. He took his time with Sousuke for granted a few times too many already.

“I wasn’t planning to stay.” Sousuke turned to look at the beach. “But I’m starting to think about it. Opening a department here wouldn’t hurt. I’d have an excuse to learn how to surf.”

Rin smiled. “I knew you will like it here. Do you need an excuse, Mr Boss?”

Sousuke laughed. “Come on, I will walk you to your house.”

Rin grinned, feeling his heart beating a little faster, and tugged him by his sleeve towards the right direction.

*

He was always walking through the little streets to and from his flat. Not only it was a faster and less busy route, but he also loved the small shops and their kind owners. They had everything. Fresh bread, meat, cheese. Coffee and tea. Newspapers. Hand-made toys. Cakes and cookies. Home-made alcohol. He started treating the owners like his little second family. They supported him when no one else did; his “grandma” fed him chocolate cookies and hot chocolate when he was sad until he thought he wouldn’t be able to stand on two legs. He grew attached, did not feel like he could leave this place.

Maybe people can change.

“I am sorry I did not contact you when I came back to Japan.” Rin said suddenly.

Sousuke who was starring curiously at the small shops looked at him surprised.

“What?”

“After Australia.”

“I thought we finished that topic.”

“But you know I did not contact you because I was a coward, right, because I was scared to face you after everything and it was easier to go to them, because…”

“Rin, we finished that topic.”

Rin sighed, looking at Sousuke who was biting the inside of his cheek, eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s nice here, isn’t?” Rin asked quietly.

“Yeah, feels like home. I mean, like home in the movies. Imagine if you’d get proper winter here with snow and everything. Christmas trees, people singing carols, building snowmen…” He nodded to himself. “Those homely shops covered in snow…”

“You already have an idea for a new business, huh?” Rin laughed.

“Well I can’t bring snow to Australia,” he sighed. “But I have another idea,” he smirked.

“Too bad you won’t be able to use it.”

Rin and Sousuke turned around quickly, Rin jumping on his feet hearing a voice behind them out of sudden.

“It’s you.” Rin looked at the guy with hair slicked to the side. He was chewing a chewing gum, looking very happy with himself.

“What are you doing here?” Sousuke’s voice was low.

“I came to kill you.” He smiled bright.

Sousuke laughed while Rin started panicking, hand grabbing his elbow. “Sousuke…”

“Kid, go home, get some sleep…” Sousuke shut his mouth quickly when the guy pulled a gun out and pointed at him. “Wow, wow, wait!” He quickly pushed Rin behind himself, taking a step back. “What the hell, man!”

“Don’t call me a kid.” He said quietly, hand not shaking.

Rin tried to do something but he stood paralysed behind Sousuke, not knowing what to do apart from grabbing the back of his shirt.

“Look…”

“Don’t call me a kid.” He said louder.

“Ok, I am sorry.” Sousuke lifted his hands up in defence. “Let’s just talk, put your gun down and we will talk…”

“No.”

It was a second. Rin screamed when he heard a shot. Sousuke threw them to the side, and they hit the ground hard. Rin quickly sat up, thinking they’ve missed the bullet, watched the guy running away. He quickly turned back to face Sousuke who was lying on his side, supporting himself with one arm starring in the direction of the guy. That’s when Rin noticed that Sousuke’s shirt was red from blood.

“Sousuke,” he whispered, starring in shock.

He looked up at him and then eyed his right shoulder, like only now he realised he was hurt. “That bitch shot me,” he whispered in disbelief.

“Sousuke…” Rin repeated, feeling his hands shaking. “Sousuke…”

Sousuke touched his shoulder and then looked at the blood on his hand, like he couldn’t understand what was going on. When the arm he was supporting himself with gave up from under him, Rin quickly caught him and it finally woke him up from the shock.

“Sousuke, I need your phone. Where is your phone?” Rin made him lean on him, holding him in a sitting position with one hand, the other searching through his pockets quick in desperation. “SOUSUKE, TALK TO ME!” He shouted at him, panicking, seeing him not contacting, his eyes slowly closing.

“Left pocket…”

Rin could feel his throat burning, trying to stop the tears when he heard his weak voice. He quickly pulled the phone out and called the ambulance.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he shook him again, one arm tight around his shoulders. “Don’t fall asleep, please.” When someone on the other side picked up he told them where they are and to hurry up. The phone fell from his hand once they ended the call and he brought his other arm around Sousuke, too. “Don’t fall asleep, you can’t, do you hear me?” He shook him again. “Sousuke, please.” Rin could feel the tears running down his cheeks. “Please.”

“You promised me you wouldn’t cry anymore.” He heard a faint whisper.

“You could have warned me you’re planning to get shot, then I wouldn’t promise!” Rin sobbed out and turned Sousuke’s head towards him, hand on his cheek. “Look at me, please.”

Sousuke did, eyes barely opened, face white.

“You can’t fall asleep. They’re going to be here in a few minutes. You can’t fall asleep.” Rin brushed his black hair back from his sweaty face and caressed his cheek. “Come on. Talk to me. Say something. Please. I beg you, please!” Sobs shook his body, he brought their faces close, pressed their foreheads together, listening to his shallow breathing. “Sousuke, please, stay with me…” he begged him, voice desperate. 

Rin jumped when he heard loud sirens. He only turned his head away from Sousuke for a second, arms still protectively around him, hand caressing his cheek, but when he turned back Sousuke’s eyes were closed.

“Sousuke? SOUSUKE!!!”


	12. Part 12

“Wake up!” Rin sobbed out, shaking Sousuke. “Please!”

He felt someone pulling him away, arms tight around him, so he’d let go of Sousuke. “Come on, let us help.” Rin started crying when they put an oxygen mask over Sousuke’s mouth, checking his pulse. They tried to wake him up, slapping his cheeks lightly, but Sousuke did not react. Another person put a bandage tightly over the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. They pulled him on the stretcher, the body lifeless in their arms. 

“Can I go with you, please…”

“Yes, come on.” Just now he realised a lady was holding him and she pushed him to the ambulance after them, and sat them on the side. Others were busy connecting Sousuke to the heart monitor, sticking needles in his arm. Rin just starred at his face, in the light really seeing how pale he was, black hair making a disturbing contrast to his face.

Rin smoothed Sousuke’s fringe back from his face, leaving his hand on his forehead. “You’re going to be okay,” he whispered. “You’re going to be okay…”

*

When they took Sousuke for the surgery, Rin was left alone, standing in front of the big double doors. He moved to the side and slid down the wall to hug his knees, shoulders shaking. When he lifted his hands to wipe tears off his face, he noticed they were red from blood.

Sousuke’s blood.

Rin took a deep breath in to calm himself down, feeling sick. The sound of the man shooting was ringing in his ears, pictures of Sousuke’s eyes closing flashing in front of his eyes.

“Drink this.” Rin jumped a little seeing a nurse handing him water in a plastic cup. “It will calm you down.”

“Thank you,” he rasped out, hands shaking.

“You should clean yourself up.” She smiled kindly. “Do you have someone we could call? Are you his family?”

Rin shook his head. “He’s here with his friends and employers. I don’t know their numbers.” That’s when he realised he did not pick Sousuke’s phone up. “Oh god, I left his phone there.”

“Don’t worry, the police will definitely hand it back to you.”

Speaking of the devil, a man in a uniform showed up in front of them.

“You were at the scene?” he asked.

Rin nodded, standing up, knees shaking. “I know who did it. I mean, I don’t know his name but he was threatening Sousuke before already.” Now he felt bad that they did not talk about it earlier. Instead of crying on him for hours he could talk about something actually important. Not that what they talked about wasn’t…

Rin felt like someone slammed his head with a hammer.

“So Mr Yamazaki will definitely know who it was, I understand?” the man asked.

Rin nodded quickly.

“When he’s going to wake up?” he asked the nurse.

“I don’t know.” She seemed irritated with his cold attitude. “The surgery just began, he was close to bleeding out. We don’t even know what’s his condition at the moment. It would be useful if you’d hand the phone back to his friend, so he could call his friends. They will start looking for him soon.”

“It’s getting checked for phone calls and texts, maybe we will be able to find who it was before Mr Yamazaki will regain consciousness. How did he look like?” He faced Rin again.

“Pretty tall, dark hair slicked to the side. He works for one of the companies here, the one that lost with Sousuke’s at the competition held today, during the charity event in the park.” Rin wanted to kick himself for not remembering the name of the company and not talking with Sousuke about him.

“Anything specific about him?”

Rin shook his head. “He looked average. An American.”

The man nodded. “It shouldn’t be difficult to find him. I will contact Mr Yamazaki’s friends, too.”

“They will probably know.”

“Thank you.” He bowed a little to them. “Please contact us once Mr Yamazaki will wake up.”

*

Rin looked up surprised when some time later, whether it was an hour or three he did not know, Gou showed up, face frightened.

“Rin!” she shouted and quickly covered her mouth when a walking past nurse sent her a disgusted look. “Oh my god what happened?!”

“How did you…” He did not finish when she threw herself on his neck.

“We woke up and turned the TV on, everyone is talking about Sousuke getting shot, is he ok, Rin…” She hugged him tight.

“I don’t know, they are not telling me anything,” he said quietly.

“How did it happen?”

“He walked me home.” Rin hugged himself, eyes casted down. “This guy showed up suddenly, Sousuke tried to calm him down but he pointed the gun at him and Sousuke pushed me behind him and then he shot.” Rin swallowed hard, palm of his hands pressed tight against his eyes. “It was seconds.”

“Funny he always gets hurt when he’s with you, huh?” He jumped and looked up with Gou. Sousuke’s friends were standing in front of them, the girl looking at him with distaste, hands curled into fists. Her eyes were red, she was obviously crying moments ago.

“What?” He felt something flipping in his stomach.

“Izzy, leave him alone.” One of the guys hissed. “They told us you were with Sousuke, do you know anything…?” he faced Rin.

Rin shook his head.

“Bastards don’t want to tell us anything either, because we’re not family.” They sat opposite to them. “He doesn’t have a family, fucking idiots.”

“Calm down, getting angry won’t help anyone.” The other guy said quietly.

“His dad…?” Rin asked unsurely.

They looked at each other and then at him. “He died a few months ago.”

“Doubt he’d care anyway.” Izzy was looking at her knees, mouth in a thin line.

“Jesus, you’re right in the face today, aren’t you?”

“What, you think that abusive jerk would care?”

Rin did not even want to ask. He knew Sousuke did not have the best contact with his father but what made them so angry? What did he miss again?

One nurse finally told them to go to the waiting room instead of sitting there in doctors’ way. They made their way over there unhappy, wanting to be as close to Sousuke as possible. Gou went to get them drinks and they sat together not talking for what seemed ages before someone finally told them that they can see Sousuke. They’d run to his room if not the judging looks.

“How is he?” Rin quickly caught attention of the doctor who just walked out of the room.

“Oh, hello.” He smiled, eyes tired. “He’s currently half awake, half asleep, on a lot of painkillers. He’s going to be fine, just needs to rest.”

“Thank God.” They all breathed out with relief.

“Can I… we see him?” Rin asked.

“Right now one, maximum two of you,” he said. “We will see tomorrow, but he is too weak now. And you need the protective wear. Sorry, I need to go now.”

He walked away and they faced each other. Rin already knew that his chance to see Sousuke was weak.

One of the guys rubbed the back of his neck, uncomfortable. “So who is going today?”

“Me,” the girl said and left them to get the protective wear.

Her friends rolled their eyes. “Sorry for her, she always gets a bitchy attitude when she’s stressing to cover it up.”

“It’s alright, I normally act like a prick when I’m stressed, too,” murmured Rin.

“You go with her. He definitely wants to see you now.”

Rin looked at them surprised. “Me?”

Gou smiled in relief.

“You were with him there. Just tell him we’re waiting outside and they did not let us in, so he won’t think we’re lazy assholes who do not care.” They grinned.

The girl shook her head seeing them pushing Rin towards the nurse who had the protective wear in her hand. She walked past them and quietly walked into the room. Gou and the two guys sat on the chairs once Rin walked after her.

*

He stood on the side by the door watching her kissing Sousuke’s cheek, talking quietly to him. Sousuke was pale, all the different cables attached to his body and nasal cannula in his nose making a pretty gruesome image. His right arm was covered in bandages.

This arm again.

It hurt to remember that Sousuke was planning to learn how to surf minutes before he got hurt. The unfairness burned his throat. Again.

She was petting his hair, no anger in her anymore, just complete focus on Sousuke. When a few tears escaped her eyes he lifted his healthy hand and wiped them off. She hugged him then, careful to not hurt him.

“You gave us a scare.” She sniffed.

“Sorry.” His voice was faint.

“We told them who it was, hopefully they already have that bastard.”

“Is Rin ok?” he asked quietly.

“Hey.” Rin decided to let him know he’s there, hearing his name. Sousuke turned his head towards him and a little smile showed up on his face. Izzy sat up, but did not say anything.

“Hey.”

“How are you feeling?”

“To be fair it hurts less than the same pain mixed with broken dreams.” Sousuke tried to smile but it did not really work out for him.

“They said you’re going to be fine.” Rin moved closer and stood on the other side of the bed.

“You can be fine with one arm,” Sousuke murmured, eyes closing. “God, this shit pisses me off.” He lifted his healthy hand to grab the nasal cannula but Izzy slapped his hand off, making him open his eyes and look at her insulted.

“Did I already tell you that you turn into a brat when you’re sick?” she asked him, shaking her head. “It supposes to help you, dumbshit.”

“You’re dumbshit.”

“You don’t call a lady dumbshit, dumbshit.”

“You don’t call your boss dumbshit, you dumb…” He covered his eyes with his hand, pressing hard.

Before they could ask what’s wrong, the doctor came in and glanced at Sousuke. “I changed my mind, only one person can stay. Preferably you.” He pointed at Rin.

Izzy sighed a little irritated but kissed the top of Sousuke’s head and stood up. “Rest, pretty boy. I will come tomorrow with the other dumbshits.”

Sousuke laughed but it sounded a little pained.

“You.” She pointed at Rin who jumped a little. “If you’re going to fuck up again I am going to kill you.”

“Can we not talk about killing, I just nearly died.” Sousuke sighed.

“Of course.” Rin smiled unsurely but quickly stopped seeing her dark look.

“I’m watching you.” And she left.

The doctor looked at Rin. “Please just… let him rest.” And he walked out too after quickly checking the numbers on the monitor.

Rin sat where the girl previously did. Sousuke was breathing evenly, eyes closed. Rin was sure he fell asleep. It was quiet for awhile, when suddenly he spoke quietly.

“Sorry for ruining your night.”

“Don’t make me punch your arm.”

Sousuke laughed.

“If anyone can be sorry, it’s me. I haven’t done anything, maybe if I…” Rin bit his lip.

“If you what? Stop it, Rin.”

“You’re so clever but you just fucking apologised for ruining my night!”

Sousuke smiled cheekily. “At least I am not sitting by some dude in the hospital after not sleeping for the whole night knowing I have a competition in a few hours.”

Rin blinked. “Oh. Oh that. I am not going.”

Sousuke looked at him surprised. “Why not? You’ve changed your mind?” He smiled.

“No, I am still ending my career. Doesn’t matter if I will attend this competition.” Rin shrugged.

“Of course it does. You can’t just disappear. Rock the world for the last time and then leave so they will remember you as a good swimmer.”

“I am not someone to remember anyway.”

“It’s your last chance.”

Rin shook his head. “I am not leaving you.”

Sousuke gaped at him. “I am telling you to go.”

“No.”

There was no way he would leave him. No fucking away. He did not care about swimming. He was done with it. Something he devoted his life to brought him more pain than anything else. Mainly because he so foolishly thought that nothing else matters.

One night with Sousuke brought him more happiness than any of the competitions.

If he will ever regret anything it is that he never fistbumped with Sousuke on everyone’s eyes after winning a competition together with him. As a team. After spending a year in Samezuka with him coaching together nothing was enough later. They were supposed to rock the swimming world together. Sousuke wasn’t supposed to lose his dream, they weren’t supposed to lose contact because of Rin’s stupidity, Rin wasn’t supposed to accomplish barely anything because he was a fucking idiot with even more idiotic priorities. Everything went wrong.

But he is going to fix it.

He couldn’t understand why everything felt so empty.

But he did now. 

“You will hate me,” Sousuke whispered. It was obvious he was struggling to stay awake, cheek pressed against the pillow, facing Rin. He grew even paler. “You will remember that you did not end it properly once I get better and blame me.”

Rin brought his face close to his and looked in his eyes. “I could never hate you, Sousuke… Don’t you understand it? I am really over it. I don’t care. I don’t need swimming. I need…” He shut his mouth and turned his head away, embarrassed.

“What do you need?”

Rin closed his eyes. “You.”


	13. Part 13

Sousuke starred at him in shock, dark circles under his eyes. He was still so pale, and the little cables attached to him, the bandages covering his arm, the nasal cannula… The image of Sousuke bleeding out in his arms, fighting to stay awake but eyes closing flashed in front of his eyes… Rin still hoped it was all a bad dream.

Rin swallowed hard, the blush covering his cheeks. “Look. I just.” He bit his lip, shaking hands playing with the duvet. “God, when I thought I will lose you…”

“You’re in shock.” Sousuke said quietly, moving a little. He winced.

“Don’t tell me I’m in shock when I’m being honest.” Rin snorted.

“Maybe you’re honest when you’re in shock.” Sousuke smiled, eyes closing. “Go home, Rin. Get some sleep…”

Rin watched him, the way his features softened, Sousuke losing his fight with sleep. His cheek touched the pillow, a quiet sigh escaping his mouth. Rin moved closer and brushed Sousuke’s hair back from his face, his fingers massaging his scalp softly.

He did not know when he fallen asleep, head on Sousuke’s healthy shoulder.

*

Sousuke was in the hospital for a few days. Luckily he was healing quickly. He still needed painkillers, the arm hurting him, but the faintness was gone.

He did not talk with Rin about Rin’s confession. Rin did not make him, either. He knew he could wait as long as it was needed. Everything was okay now, seeing Sousuke every day. But he was dreading the day Sousuke will leave. Scared he will leave with a simple goodbye. Scared he will never see him again.

Was this how Sousuke felt ten years ago?

He watched him interacting with his friends, Sousuke swearing at them when they were making him laugh, it causing him pain. The man who attacked him was jailed on the first day, trying to leave but was stopped on the airport. They explained to Rin that he was studying with them at the same university, always trying to compete with Sousuke who was beating him, making him more and more furious. When Sousuke got employed in the best company it hit hard, even though he got a good job, too. But it wasn’t about that anymore. He did not care about what he got; he simply did not want Sousuke to get anything.

The fury began with Sousuke becoming the boss. Facing Sousuke when his company won and that with the one he belonged to was too much.

Sousuke made a mistake not taking him seriously. But getting shot did not change it. He said that Izzy was frightening him more, while she was braiding his hair, using the fact that he was weak and couldn’t run away.

“Good.” She tugged him closer and began braiding another braid.

Sora loved visiting. He found small cables attached to machines very interesting. On the third day he brought marker pens and started drawing on Sousuke’s bandages, making little annoyed noises since it wasn’t easy. Sousuke tried not to wince.

*

Rin walked in, surprised seeing Sousuke sitting half naked, trying to put a shirt on. He had the collar in his teeth, trying to dress himself with one hand.

“Let me help.” Rin walked up to him hearing him growling in frustration.

The shirt fell from Sousuke’s mouth when he noticed him.

“Don’t you want to take a shower first?” Rin straightened his shirt and started putting his unhealthy arm in first, slowly, careful to move it as little as possible. Sousuke cringed a little anyway.

“Do I stink?” Sousuke sniffed.

“You will do.” Rin pulled the shirt over his back and Sousuke quickly pulled his healthy arm in. Rin sat in front of him and started buttoning it up.

“I will do.” Sousuke murmured, eyeing him until his hands reached the collar where Sousuke caught the hold of his hands. “I’m not going to work, you don’t need to choke me.”

Rin smiled, not moving away.

“When did you get the tattoo?” Rin asked quietly.

Sousuke seemed surprised by his sudden question. “I got a small one on the day of arrival. It was supposed to be just a little symbolic thing of a new start. But then whenever something good was happening I was adding to it and here we are, whole back covered. Ten years of work.”

“Do people tell you to stand for hours so they can thoroughly check you out?” Rin smirked.

“Sometimes.” Sousuke smirked back. “What, you’re regretting you put the shirt on already?”

Rin grinned, ignoring the blush covering his cheeks. He decided to not stop himself. “Well I’d only see half of your life mapped out because of the bandages, so I will wait when I can see all of it.”

“All of it?” Sousuke cocked an eyebrow and started laughing seeing Rin getting even more red, looking away, laughing himself.

“I’ve got all the papers, Mr Yamazaki.” Sousuke’s hand let him go when a doctor showed up and handed him papers. They exchanged a few words, mainly a warning to Sousuke to take it easy, very easy, and they said their goodbyes.

“I think he meant you need holiday.”

“Yeah, my results suck.” Sousuke slipped off the bed slowly, and took the bag from his chair to throw it on the bed and put the papers in it. “So, I am going on holiday. I have an excuse, after all.”

Rin smiled, ignoring the painful pang in his chest.

“But there’s one more thing we need to do before that.” He zipped the bag.

Rin looked confused at him.

“I hope you’re ready to race, because your team is waiting for you.”

A few guys walked in, smiles on their faces. They stood behind Sousuke who turned to greet them and finally faced stunned Rin.

“Come on, shithead. You did not turn up for your last race so you need to finally have it. What are you waiting for?” The captain crossed his arms over his chest.

“But…”

“You can’t leave without saying goodbye. Today are broadcasted races, you need to do it properly. Maybe you will snatch your last medal, too?” One of his teammates smiled.

“But how do you…” Rin looked at Sousuke who had an innocent smile on. “How exactly are you involved in this?”

“Just made a few calls.” He shrugged which made him wince. “Ouch. Hurry up, or we’re going to be late.”

“You’re going…”

“Of course I am. Gou and everybody else are waiting there already.”

Rin gaped at him, warmth spreading in his chest. He blinked back tears and looked at Sousuke and his teammates, his captain, not knowing what to say.

“Thank you,” he finally whispered.

Sousuke stretched his hand out to Rin. “Come on. Time to say goodbye.”


	14. Part 14

Sousuke sat in the living room of Rin’s small apartment, looking at him running around trying to find his goggles. Out of breath Rin finally stood in front of him. He had a black box in his hands and he handed it to Sousuke.

"A little present. I’d bring it to the hospital today but I did not know that they were letting you out."

"Present?" Sousuke asked surprised but opened the box. There was a satin scarf inside, black with little skulls all over it in a darker shade of the same colour. "Ohh."

"It will look better than the bandage you use for supporting your arm, right?" Rin smiled unsurely.

"Hell yeah." Sousuke took the uncomfortable thing off his neck, rubbing the pain away.

Rin pulled the scarf over his head, under the arm, tying it in the middle so the knot wouldn’t dig into Sousuke’s neck. He smoothed it out so it would be as comfortable as possible.

"Thank you so much." Sousuke smiled. "I really like it. But you did not need to."

"Shush. Should we go?" Rin grinned, happy.

*

"Woo, that’s a sexy scarf." Izzy stood by Sousuke who sat by the judges. He did not have the strength to stand behind them today.

"Of course, a sexy boss needs a sexy scarf."

Izzy slapped the back of his head and walked away. Sousuke stopped himself from laughing. He looked at the audience and waved to Sora who was taking all the attention as usual, jumping on his sit.

When he noticed the swimmers gathering, he searched for Rin. He was standing behind his captain, bending his fingers, but he looked excited. He smiled when he noticed Sousuke. It was a nice change to see his eyes shining again, the life back in them.

Sousuke stood up when Rin was getting ready to jump in the water. He showed him a thumb up and Rin grinned, putting the goggles on.

Sousuke probably stopped breathing when he jumped. People started shouting, cheering for his favourites. Rin was fast, but there were two guys that were a little quicker than him. Sousuke wanted him to win this last race badly. It was so important…

"Come on, Rin," he whispered to himself and smiled seeing Rin getting faster. Rin quickly evened up.

It was seconds, all three of them pretty much slamming their hands what seemed at the same time. Sousuke looked at the board showing results, waiting, not breathing.

When Rin’s name showed up as first he shouted with others and started laughing from happiness seeing Rin’s shocked, wet face, starring at him. Rin put his hands on his mouth, breathing heavily. He closed his eyes, looking like he was praying for this to be real. When his captain stretched out his hand to him he took it gladly, face beaming.

*

Sousuke couldn’t stop smiling when he was told to give medals to the winners. Izzy helped him by holding three boxes, a medal in each. Sousuke introduced each of the winners, letting them thank their families, friends, captains. They all were happy to help him put the medals over their heads, laughing when he apologised for being shortly useless. When he finally got to Rin he smiled cheekily at him, Rin helping him put the gold medal around his neck, their hands not so accidently touching.

"So, Mr Matsuoka." Sousuke said, the audience quieting down after exploding with cheering once again. Everybody knew Rin was with him that night and the amount of gossip created over the past few days he was in the hospital was pretty impressive. "I’ve heard this was your last race. In this case, you have to be especially happy that you have won it."

Rin smiled, taking the microphone from him. His cheeks were a little red.

"I did not really prepare a speech, and I am not good at talking at all, so sorry in advance." He grinned, both hands holding the microphone a little too tight. Sousuke winked to him when he sent him a nervous look. "I just wanted to really thank everyone who believed in me. My sister." He looked at Gou who stood up and send him kisses, making him laugh when she accidently hit Haru sitting by her. Sousuke snorted, luckily he did not have a microphone. "Who always knew when I needed a slap." The audience laughed. "And her sweet family, Sora and Momo." Sora squeaked happily hearing his name, Momo showed a thumb up. "But most of all I wanted to thank you." He faced Sousuke who looked back at him, eyebrows raised in surprise. Now it became deathly quiet. "I wouldn’t be here if not you. I wouldn’t have this chance. I wouldn’t have the strength to win." He took a shaking breath in.

"Rin?" Sousuke whispered, taken aback.

"And I think that out of everyone here, the one who deserves to wear this medal the most today, is you." Rin smiled and Sousuke froze in place when he took the medal off, and put it over Sousuke’s neck who looked down at it, stunned. "It’s beyond unfair how the chance to get many of these was taken away from you. You’d wear one today if I were racing against you. You'd be standing where I am standing. But no matter how everything was always just one big disappointment, especially me…" He heard gasps of surprise, Sousuke looked up in shock. Yeah, Rin will apologise publicly, on TV, on the radio. "... which I am so sorry for... You never gave up. No matter what you always kept going. One dream was cruelly taken away from you, but you created another one and fulfilled it. You fought for it as much as you fought for swimming. You became the youngest boss of one of the most influential companies. I’ve never met a stronger, more hardworking, selfless, sincere, with such a good heart person. Someone everyone should look up to. I definitely do. You're invincible." He smiled seeing Sousuke blinking back tears, swallowing hard. "And I just… I just wanted to thank you so much for opening my eyes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, for those who weren't aware, as a Christmas present I began writing a new fic called "Let it snow" http://archiveofourown.org/works/2786054/chapters/6252824
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too.
> 
> Have a nice weekend :)


	15. Part 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

It was so quiet, everyone starring at Sousuke and him, but Rin could not care less. All he cared about was Sousuke. Sousuke who was standing there with the microphone he returned to him, mouth slightly open.

Sousuke blinked and made a move to say something but no sound escaped his mouth. The silence extended, people holding their breath.

“I…” Sousuke tried, but quickly stopped. “Goodness, that wasn’t in the plan.” He turned to the audience and laughed nervously. “Maybe you will finish this eloquently?” He faced Izzy who laughed and took the microphone from him. She said a few words, Sousuke standing awkwardly by her, starring at the medal on his neck. Rin ignored everybody and smiled seeing it.

When people were pretty much told to leave, Izzy realising they won’t without her telling them to, Rin jumped to stand next to Sousuke. He smiled at his shocked face and put his hand over his holding the medal.

“Suits you.” Before Sousuke could say anything, Rin tightened his hand over his for a moment and then left to the changing rooms, grin on his face.

“Damn, what an ass.” Izzy stood by Sousuke and sighed, looking in Rin’s direction.

“Huh?”

“He is starting to make me like him.”

Sousuke faced her, face unreadable. She laughed.

“Don’t look at me like that! That was pretty impressive. And honest. He basically told the whole world that he loves you.”

“He did not say he loves me.”

“He apologised for all his wrongs, he said you’re everything to him, basically. He gave you his last medal. On an international broadcasted event. That’s pretty impressive, sweetie, and trust me definitely a love confession especially for the media.”

“He screwed me up, now I am going to have papz on my back 24/7.”

She snorted. “You loved it.”

“Shut up.”

She patted his back and left him, starring at the swimming pool.

Sousuke sighed quietly and crouched by it. His fingers touched the water. He saw the medal dangling on his neck in the reflection and his hand grabbed it to take it off his neck so he could look at it properly. Beautiful shiny gold medal. A medal he spent his childhood working for. Hours of hardwork, no friends, only work. So many tears, so much sweat. Long hours at the swimming pool, at the gym. Fights with his father.

And at the end only pain and emptiness. Bitterness and disappointment. Not even one friend on his side. Not even his own father.

He thought this was how it always going to be, after Rin left him too. Now all those years later he has friends and even Rin was back and that without Haru. God, he never dared to dream about a day like that.

It will always hurt. No matter how much he accomplished, it will always hurt he could not accomplish this dream. He clutched the medal pressing it against his chest, curling himself up when tears escaped his eyes, pain in his chest.

He jumped, nearly falling when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Rin crouched by him, as close as possible. They were quiet for awhile.

“Are you sure you do not want to continue your career?” Sousuke asked finally.

“Yes.” Rin smiled at him, surprising Sousuke with how happy he looked. “I’ve accomplished everything. I do not want anything more from swimming. I do not need anything more.”

“You don’t want your last medal?” Sousuke stroked the gold with his thumb.

“I won it for you.”

Silence.

“Thank you,” Sousuke whispered, lifting his head to look at him.

Rin grinned. “No, thank you. Truly.”

Before they could say anything else, Sousuke’s phone ringed. He picked it up and Rin figured it out that he was talking with Izzy.

“Gou got them all together and decided we’re all going for a meal, you’re up for it?”

“Sure!”

*

They’ve met outside the hall and made their way to one of the restaurants. Sousuke smoothly ignored the Iwatobi guys, but they were like little leeches starring at him all the time, annoying him. At the beginning he was ok with having a simple conversation with them, but since he heard that they were as crap as he expected to Rin over the years, he did not care to even look at them.

It was great to see Momo, his brother and Nitori, though. He always respected those guys and their hard work, making him even angrier back then when they were ignored for the sake of losers like Nanase. Ten years later Momo was happily married to Gou, had a gorgeous kid, and supervised swimmers at Samezuka. His brother trained swimmers for Olympics. Nitori studied psychology and now had his own office. Nanase was… existing. As usual.

Rin was walking by Sousuke, Sora on his arms, pouting because he wanted to hang on Sousuke, but Gou did not let him. To be fair, it probably would hurt.

He felt sorry for Rin when he sat right opposite to Haru. But it was funny seeing him clearly trying to not look at him. Luckily Sora was a good distraction.

They all actually had fun. His friends talked about them, about the parties they had, the company, everything that happened in the past ten years, cheering Sousuke up even more. Hearing about their accomplishments made him realise how much actually happened over the years, how many good stuff. He needed people to remind him sometimes about all the good in the world. Depression was a bitch that liked to come back sometimes, even though he never said anything.

The hilarious part came when they realised that their waitress has an eye on Makoto.

“Jee, Makoto,” Sousuke whispered, in a way that everybody could hear him. “Don’t be so mean, give her a smile at least.” He laughed when Rin snorted in his coke. Obviously he noticed already, too.

Izzy and his guys whistled pretty much at once, making others laugh. Makoto turned red while Haru clenched his teeth together. Sousuke lifted his hand up, waving for her to come over, getting a terrified look from Makoto.

“Hi, my friend just wanted another drink, thanks.” He smiled at her, pointing at Makoto. She grinned and asked him what exactly he wants, making Sousuke focus on his plate trying to not burst out laughing. When she left and was far away enough he started laughing.

“Asshole.” Rin jokingly punched him in his healthy arm, shaking his head.

“Aww, that’s cute.” Izzy wiped tears off her cheeks after giggling. “She’s pretty and seems sweet.” She winked to Makoto.

He only got redder, trying to say something, looking like he swallowed his tongue. Sousuke tried not to laugh again.

“Do you think it’s funny?” They all turned to look at Haru who was starring straight at Sousuke, face angry.

Sousuke raised his eyebrows. “Fuck yes, I do.”

“You know very well we’re together and yet you choose to joke about stuff like that?”

Everybody was quiet. Sousuke laughed but he did not sound humours.

“Oh no.” He got closer to Haru’s face, ignoring Rin moving uncomfortably seeing it. “For the first time ever someone did not consider Mr Special Snowflake’s fragile feelings! Are you going to be okay?” he mocked him.

“You think that if you’re successful then you can be a dickhead?” Haru snapped. The only thing that surprised Sousuke was that the guy finally learned how to use his tongue. Still not successfully, but hey progress. Only took him ten years.

Sousuke laughed. “Oh I am sorry I became successful with no one’s help and you accomplished nothing in your life after everybody wiped your ass. Maybe you need another trip? Maybe Rin will sponsor you something again? Where would you like to go?” He did not even care how mocking his voice was; the sarcasm was burning his throat.

“Umm, guys…” Makoto and Rin tried to interrupt at the same time, unsurely, but they ignored them. Others were too curious to see where the conversation will go. Haru seemed speechless for a few moments, gaping like a fish until he finally spoke.

“You’re acting so sure of yourself now, because he pretends he cares about you?” Haru hissed. “He will kick you in the ass for someone else the second he will find himself another someone to worship. Or maybe he won’t even need that. How many times he kicked you for no reason, just because he felt like it, knowing you will run after him like a dog every time anyway?”

“Haru!” Makoto looked shocked.

“How dare you?” Rin whispered.

“What, isn’t true?” Haru only glanced at him before returning to Sousuke, who wasn’t moving, face unreadable. “Wanna bet how long it will take this time? Are you giving Rin a week or maybe a month before…” He did not finish when suddenly Rin stood and grabbed him by his collar to pull him up. Before anyone could blink Rin punched him in the face. Hard.


	16. Part 16

Sousuke sat with his mouth open, seeing Nanase on the floor with his nose bleeding and Rin standing over him with his hands curled into fists.

Wow.

Impressive.

Before anyone could blink Rin was over Haru getting ready to hit again when Nanase’s friends got over their shock and threw themselves to save their precious friend. They couldn’t do much with Rin who was so pissed off he pushed them away and continued on throwing punches.

“You piece of shit! I did everything for you! I fucked up my other relationships for you! You fucked me up and now that I fixed some of my mistakes you FUCKING DARE TO COME HERE AND TRY TO RUIN…!”

“RIN, LEAVE HIM ALONE!”

“FUCK YOU!”

Jesus Christ, thought Sousuke. Where are people with cameras when you need them? Where is popcorn? He hopes it will be all over the news tomorrow. What a beautiful sight.

“SOUSUKE, CAN YOU HELP!” Gou most likely worried that her brother will end up in jail for the rest of his life for murder tried to save the situation but Rin was so furious he did not really seem to be considering this option.

“I’d love to help Rin but I can’t really do much with my hand shot.” Sousuke sighed.

“Help Rin?! I am telling you to stop him!”

“Why would I do that?” He’d shot himself in the face sooner than help Nanase.

“Sousuke, for fuck’s sake!”

“One more from me!” Sousuke cheered Rin.

“What is going on here!” The manager of the company showed up, face terrified. “Please stop right now!”

“Don’t worry I will pay for everything.” Sousuke grinned at him.

The manager looked at him like at an idiot. Sousuke ignored him and faced his friends who were wiping off tears from their faces, laughing at the situation. He shook his head at them but the corner of his lips lifted.

“SOUSUKE!”

“Don’t worry I will buy him out of the jail.” He smiled wide at Gou but stopped seeing her murderous look.

Rolling his eyes he stood up and carefully approached Rin. When Rin stopped for a second to catch his breath Sousuke slipped his arms around his middle and lifted him away. Iwatobi guys quickly gathered Haru up who looked pretty unrecognizable, much to Sousuke’s enjoyment.

“Come on, you do not want to spend the rest of your life in jail, do you?”

Rin growled but stood still, not wanting to hurt his arm. His knuckles were bleeding and he was breathing heavily.

“Please just get out of here.” The manager showed them the door.

They went out, Makoto and Rei holding up Haru, Nagisa fussing over him. Sousuke kept on holding Rin seeing him continuing on sending angry looks in their way. It was hilarious.

“Maybe we should go to hospital.” Gou looked worried at Haru, his face bleeding.

Momo with Sora on his arms, his brother and Nitori stood by Sousuke with his friends, watching without much emotion on their faces.

“You’re my sister, not his, fucking act like it.” Rin snapped at Gou.

“You only got clever since the past week, don’t teach me how to behave, would you!”

“I am fucking gone.” He slipped out of Sousuke’s grasp and walked away, towards the park.

Sousuke watched him, hearing the little broken sound in his throat, and looked at his friends to tell them that he will see them later. He made his way after Rin quickly.

*

Rin was sitting by a little lake, taking deep breaths in, blinking back tears, fighting hard not to cry. Sousuke sighed to himself.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t…” Rin whispered to himself, trying to calm himself down. He jumped when he felt Sousuke sliding his arm around his shoulders as he sat by him.

“Let it out.” Sousuke smiled, letting him burst out crying in his chest. “Oh boy.” He petted his hair. “He’s a piece of shit, not worth your tears.”

“I am doing everything to have you give me another chance and he just ruins everything, I hate him so much.” Rin sobbed. “I am not like that anymore, I wouldn’t hurt you again…”

“He did not ruin anything.” Sousuke kissed the top of his head. “Don’t worry about what he said.”

“You’re lying, I saw how you reacted!”

“Well, it did sting,” he shrugged. “It will always sting. But he is the one with a bloody face now, not me.” Sousuke snorted, not believing it really happened. Holy shit, Rin punching Nanase in the face. This better not be a dream.

“I think I broke his nose,” murmured Rin in his chest.

“I am pretty sure you broke more than his nose. Don’t worry I have good lawyers.” Sousuke chuckled.

“You really shouldn’t be laughing, you know.” Rin lifted his head to look at him.

“I hope someone filmed it,” whispered Sousuke, starring at the lake.

“Sousuke!”

Sousuke’s body shook with laughter. He let go of Rin to cover his mouth to stop the laugh and calm himself down but it only ended up with him lying on the grass, facing the sky, happy tears running down his cheeks.

“It was so beautiful.”

Rin shook his head in disapproval but he was biting his lips together to not to laugh, too. He couldn’t believe he did it, either.

“We’re awful human beings,” Rin said quietly.

“Screw that, I fucking waited fifteen years, the only thing is I wish I could have punched him, too,” admitted Sousuke.

Rin slapped his head, so Sousuke grabbed his hand and suddenly pulled him over himself, making Rin quickly put his hands on each side of his head to hold himself up to not hurt his arm.

“Leave with me.” Sousuke whispered.

“What?” Their faces were so close Rin blushed. Sousuke was so handsome, his gorgeous eyes looking at him and only him, he was still a little too pale to be healthy, his black hair making a little too much of a contrast to his face. But Rin could see the dimples in his cheeks, the dimples he loved and that always deepened when Sousuke was happy and that was most important.

“Leave with me.” Sousuke repeated.

“Where?”

“Anywhere.”

Rin blinked, not believing what he was hearing.

“I am definitely going to go for a long holiday now.” Sousuke explained. “I don’t know where yet. I don’t know what I will do later. I can open a department anywhere and just move there. Or maybe I will start travelling and be a bit here, a bit there… I want you to be by my side.”

“You really… want that?” he whispered, surprised.

“Yes.” Sousuke smiled with ease, a little shrug of his shoulders, like it was the most obvious thing on the world.

“Will you follow me this time, Rin?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted two one-shots [separate stories] that you might want to check out :)  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/2854445  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/2836382


	17. Part 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome in the new year :)

Rin shivered feeling Sousuke’s hand lightly stroking his arm. He was still holding himself up, over Sousuke, hands on each side of his head. Rin starred at him in disbelief, Sousuke had a cheeky smile on his face.

“I’d love to.”

Sousuke grinned. “Come here.” He pulled him down by his shoulder, and Rin gasped in shock when their lips met. Sousuke kissed him, his hand touching his cheek, slowly deepening the kiss. Rin whimpered and brought his hand up to touch his hair, soft strands slipping through his fingers. When they broke apart, breathing heavily, foreheads pressed together, Sousuke slipped his hand down his back and held him close.

“I don’t want this to ever end,” Rin whispered, not pulling away, eyes still closed.

“Don’t end it then.”

Rin opened his eyes, head cocked and he placed a kiss on Sousuke’s cheek. “Never.” He smiled and kissed the corner of his lips, and then lips, smiling hearing a little purring sound.

The phone ringed. Sousuke growled in frustration and took his hand off Rin’s back to take his phone out of his pocket. Rin smirked and kissed his jaw.

“Yes?”

“Hey, pretty boy. Just wanted to tell you something hilarious.”

“What is it?” Sousuke sent Rin a murderous look when he bit his throat. With one hand tied and other holding his phone he could not do anything and Rin was obviously using it against him, now placing little kisses down his throat.

“Jesus.” Sousuke whispered when Rin slipped one leg across his hips.

“He… what?” Izzy asked confused.

“Nothing. What were you saying?”

“Yeah well we went to the hospital with the little shit, he’s alright, tell your boy to learn how to throw better punches. But his boyfriend or shall I say ex-boyfriend saved the day.”

“Ex-boyfriend?”

Rin lifted his head, curious.

“Yeah, Makoto I think? He broke up with him.”

“You are fucking kidding me.” Sousuke sat up, and Rin grasped his neck to not fall. Sousuke showed him his tongue.

“Haha, no! Once we found out he is alright he started saying shit about you two and Makoto out of nowhere went ‘I’m breaking up with you’. Nanase was so shocked, Makoto seemed terrified he actually said that.”

“I can’t believe it, to be fair.”

“He said something that it wasn’t working for awhile, I guess they had some issues. Obviously we did not ask. Gou did not seem surprised.”

“What a day.” Sousuke started laughing. Rin looked at him with a question in his eyes. “Makoto broke up with Haru,” he whispered to him. Rin’s jaw dropped.

“So where are you now? Wanna go for a drink? Or you’re still with the pretty one?”

“Still with the pretty one.” Sousuke answered and chuckled seeing Rin’s murderous look.

“Oh god, we better stay away then. I will see you tomorrow!”

“Sure, let’s meet for breakfast, okay?”

“Bring the pretty one!” She laughed and put the phone down.

Sousuke shook his head.

“What did she say?”

“To bring you for breakfast,” he winked to him.

Rin could feel his cheeks burning but he smiled. “So what about Haru and Makoto?”

“Makoto broke up with him. I think Gou might know more as of why. I’m glad for the guy, everybody deserves better than Nanase.”

“I can’t imagine it, they’ve been together for… I don’t even know.”

“All the time that we weren’t plus the short time we were,” said Sousuke.

“We’ve lost a lot,” Rin whispered, his hands touching his cheeks. “But we will make up for it.”

“I think it’s better that we have separated so we could come back and be good to each other than if I continued following you then,” Sousuke admitted. “One day I would snap and maybe we would never see each other again.”

Rin nodded, kissing the corner of his lips. “I am glad you did not follow me then. You’d get constantly hurt being forced to watch, I was still too selfish to notice and if anything would happen to you…” He hugged him, the thought alone making him shiver.

Sousuke sighed and kissed his neck, holding him tight. “Everything ended up well,” he said quietly in his ear. “Enough with the worry. Now.” He straightened up. “I need to go back to the apartment, I need some painkillers.” Sousuke cringed and rubbed his arm.

“Sure.” Rin quickly stood up and extended his hand for him to take. “They gave you some painkillers, didn’t they?”

“Yep. I left everything there.” Sousuke lifted himself with his help.

“Can I walk you there?”

“No, we just kissed but I will send you home,” Sousuke chuckled.

Rin kicked him in the shin making him laugh. “Very funny.”

*

“How much are you paying for this?” Rin’s jaw dropped when he walked inside the large modern penthouse.

Sousuke made his way towards the bar on the left. “I don’t remember. Doesn’t really matter, does it?” He searched through the cupboard where he put the medications.

“I guess if you’re rich.” Rin snorted. “You make me want to start a business so I could just get a penthouse in an expensive hotel and be one big whatever.”

“Don’t bother, I’d kick your ass.” Sousuke smirked. He took the little box from the cupboard and a bottle with water.

Rin showed him his tongue and sat on the back of the sofa. “Luxury.” he smoothed the leather. “I could get used to it.” His legs dangled.

Sousuke laughed and gulped down the pills. He finally walked up to him and Rin squeaked when he caught his knee and pulled him close, Rin’s legs sliding around his hips.

“I hope you’re free tonight.” Sousuke said quietly, his mouth a millimetre apart from Rin’s.

Rin straightened his back and his lips lightly touched Sousuke’s. “Totally free.”

Sousuke smirked against his lips and pulled him closer with his hand on Rin’s back. Their lips met again. Rin quickly brought his arms up around his neck and deepened the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've also started another fic, which will only be around three parts:  
> [http://archiveofourown.org/works/3064802/chapters/6650774]
> 
> And here's info about the upcoming SouRin Harry Potter AU fic:  
>   
> \+ It’s going to happen during Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
> 
> \+ So things that were happening in Hogwarts while Harry with his friends was looking for Horcruxes 
> 
> \+ Rin is a student, belongs to Slytherin
> 
> \+ Sousuke is a few years older and works for Voldemort
> 
> \+ Sousuke comes to Hogwarts to teach the Dark Arts


	18. Part 18

Rin sighed in pleasure as he put his head on Sousuke’s naked chest only covered with bandage on one side. He starred at the fake fireplace, warm orange and yellow colours, Sousuke’s fingers slowly stroking down his spine lulling him to sleep. He lifted his head a little to kiss his jaw, giggling when Sousuke squeezed his butt.

“Stop moving your arm so much, you’re going to hurt it,” murmured Rin, hand moving down from Sousuke’s chest to his abs and up again, the muscles tightening under his touch as it tickled a little.

Sousuke snickered, not opening his eyes, calm, relaxed smile on his face.

“The painkillers are doing a great job.”

“If you’d need a massage or something, just tell,” Rin purred, kissing the middle of his chest.

Sousuke sighed. “Looking for a way to touch me more, Matsuoka? You know I can’t have massages on a shot shoulder.”

“Who was talking about your shoulder?”

Sousuke started laughing and pulled Rin up to kiss him deep, sliding his tongue inside his mouth. Rin moaned into the kiss.

*

Some time later they lazily made their way towards the luxurious bathroom. Rin poured the water inside the bath, disturbing the water to create lots of bubbles. Sousuke watched him, eyebrow cocked when Rin turned to face him.

They slipped inside the bath together, sighing in pleasure as their muscles relaxed. Rin made Sousuke lean on him between his legs, took the hotel soap and put it on the sponge to start delicately clean Sousuke’s arms and then chest, smiling when Sousuke moaned quietly, his head comfortably on Rin’s arm.

“I’ve missed you so much all those years,” Rin whispered in his ear, the touch soft.

Sousuke lifted his healthy hand and stroked his cheek. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“I thought you forgot.” Rin brought his arms around him, careful on the waterproof plaster over the injury.

“It’s not that easy to forget.”

Rin kissed him on his cheek. “We’re going to make so many good memories,” He said quietly.

“You bet,” Sousuke grinned, making him laugh.

*

Rin could not remember the last time he woke up in such a good mood. He stretched comfortably, looking out of the massive window that took the place of the wall in the bedroom.

The sun was bright and the black satin blanket slipped around his hips as he turned to face Sousuke who was still asleep. Rin kissed his chest, his throat, his jaw and finally his lips, seeing a smile forming on them.

“Morning.”

“Morning,” Rin kissed his ear and then sat opposite to him, pulling the blanket up to cover himself.

“Did you have a good night?” Sousuke stretched, the blanket covering him slipping lower on his hips.

The corner of Rin’s lips lifted. He won’t have enough of Sousuke for awhile.

“The best one.”

“Ready for breakfast?” Sousuke smiled.

“With your friends, right?” Rin grinned, a little not honestly.

“What’s stressing you?” Sousuke cocked his head, lifting himself up on the pillows with one hand.

“Don’t want them to think I’m stealing you from them or that I just think everything is fine and now I can act like we’ve all been buddies for awhile… you know…” Rin scratched the back of his neck.

“Rin, we’re in our thirties, chill.” Sousuke rolled his eyes. “You’re not stealing me from them. Besides, even if you tried…” He furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t recommend that. Anyway, if it’s about the trip then I offered it to them already, they will join us throughout summer but they need to figure out when it’s the best for them.”

“Okay.” Rin exhaled loudly.

Sousuke bend over to kiss him on the cheek. “Don’t worry. They’re the most amazing friends you will ever have.”

*

They were amazing, Rin had to agree. Whole breakfast they were joking, treating him like one of theirs. There was no awkwardness. With curiosity he watched the way they treated Sousuke, and it made him smile. As much as they loved joking, the worry on their faces was obvious whenever Sousuke flinched. They were pretty much taking turns either handing something to him or helping him spread butter on the bread. Sousuke’s annoyance was hilarious, seeing him pretending how much it annoyed him when there was obvious love and appreciation in his eyes for his friends.

It had to feel good having precious friends. Maybe one day Rin would be able to call them his friends, too.

He reached for his phone when he felt it vibrating in his pocket, and sighed when he saw Makoto ringing. He picked it up and said ‘Hello’ quietly, and then mouthed ‘Makoto’ to Sousuke who looked at him, question in his eyes.

“Hey, Rin, I am sorry for bothering you but I just wondered if I could see you and Sousuke, maybe his friends… I mean… Goodness. I just wanted to apologise to you all for yesterday, Rin. Well, to you for more than that…”

“Apologise?” Rin smiled. “Come on, it wasn’t your fault. You broke up with Haru, you can stop taking his crap on your shoulders now.”

“I know, but some things I should have done before…”

“I know, Makoto. But let’s forget about it. We all moved on, no point scratching the old wounds. We’re both happy now… Well, I assume?”

“Yeah… It’s like a massive weight off my shoulders. Should have happened a long time ago, but I had no guts.”

“Do you have an eye on someone else?” Rin smirked when Sousuke snorted.

“Well… I came back to that place yesterday…” He said quietly, sounding a little ashamed.

“Don’t tell me you hooked up with that waitress?!” Rin sat up straight and Sousuke lifted his hand up in victory.

“Well… yeah.”

“Sousuke is ecstatic,” Rin laughed.

“I should open a company…” Sousuke bit his cheek, finger on his lips. “I should open a matching company! Come to Sousuke, he will find you a better partner!” He tried to spread his arms and winced. “Outch.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, it’s only a hook up for now.” Izzy showed him her tongue.

“Wanna bet they will stay together?”

“Hundred dollars.”

“Fair play.” They shook hands, determined looks on their faces.

“Tell him to stay with her forever, she’s perfect.” Sousuke whispered to Rin, so Izzy hit his head with the bread they had left on the table.

Rin smiled. “Do you have any plans for now, Makoto?”

“I have full two weeks off work, so I will go on holiday somewhere. Relax for some time. Then I will think about the rest.”

“Don’t stress, give it time.” Rin sighed. “I wish you luck.”

“Thanks, Rin. You, too. And sorry again.”

“Don’t worry about it! Take care!”

“You, too! Bye, Rin.” He sounded like he could breath again, happiness in his voice.

“Bye!”

Rin ended the call and looked at the phone for a moment before lifting his head and smiling at Sousuke who put his hand on his knee and stroked it with his thumb.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes.” Rin nodded. “More than okay. I am glad he is moving on, too. He deserves to properly live finally.”

“He will be fine.” Sousuke patted his knee. “Now you need to call your little family and ask them if they want holiday on the yacht.”

“Really?” Rin touched his hand under the table.

“Of course. I need to plan everything, it’s going to be one big party with breaks for us to be alone.” Sousuke winked to him. “But first I need to know when, who, and for how long people want to be a part of it.”

Rin beamed.


	19. Part 19

Rin breathed in the fresh air, starring at the beautiful sea. The sun was shining, burning his nose but he did not care.

He was so in love. So happy. So… at peace.

Now he realised how all those years he was constantly fighting with something and it was nothing else but the need to meet Sousuke and make it better. He was beyond grateful that he had the chance, that he was given one and now…

He was standing here, on the massive yacht, with Sousuke’s arms around his waist, his lips kissing his neck. Rin sighed quietly in pleasure.

“Ready for breakfast?” Sousuke smiled at him, his hair clearly only brushed with fingers, soft pointing in different directions.

“Yeah.” Rin stretched and they went to the little table now full of different hams and cheeses, salads and juices and teas. They ate mostly in silence, mostly just smiling at each other, listening to the sea.

They both loved the sea.

Sousuke planned everything. Their and only their time was supposed to be at the beginning and at the end, parties with everybody inbetween. To let them be, no interruptions, to get enough of each other. That wasn’t really possible, but they used every second. For the first week they stayed in bed and tried to make up for all the lost years.

“Would you like to swim later?” asked Sousuke, spreading the butter on his bread.

“Sure.” Rin smiled.

“It’s nice to see you like that.” Sousuke sat more comfortably, glass of orange juice in his hand.

“Like what?” He cocked his head.

“Happy.”

Rin kicked him lightly under the table. “That’s all you.”

“Nah, it’s probably the sun.”

Rin laughed and stood up to smoothly slip in Sousuke’s lap.

“Have you finished eating?” Rin asked, hand sliding down his chest until it reached the bottom of his shirt.

“Definitely,” Sousuke murmured closing his eyes as Rin kissed his neck.

“Then take me to the bedroom, mister.”

Sousuke grinned.

*

“What are your plans for after we finish our holiday?” Rin asked quietly, fingers stroking Sousuke’s chest.

They were lying on the big bed in the master bedroom. The yacht was large. Rin wasn’t ever on such a big private yacht, so it surprised him to see the bedrooms looking like hotel ones, not little uncomfortable bunks.

The bed took most of the room, big TV opposite to it. Everything was in white and greyish colours, giving it a clean luxurious feeling.

Sousuke shrugged, eyes closed. He put one arm under his head and the other around Rin’s shoulders.

“I will need to close myself in the office for a few weeks to catch up on everything, probably.”

“Sounds fun.”

Sousuke smiled. “What about you? What do you want to do now?”

Rin stayed quiet. He did not know. His eyes closed when Sousuke brushed his fingers through his hair.

“I saved some money so I can spend some time on trying to figure out what I want to do.” Rin lifted his head to look at him.

“Take your time. If you can afford it, look for something that will make you happy.”

Rin grinned and then kissed his jaw. “I want to swim with you,” he whispered. “Swim with me?”

“Always.”

*

Their days were spent on being probably the laziest Rin was in years. They were devoting most of the time to swimming, either against each other or together, kissing in the sun and ignoring the whole world.

When others joined them on the yacht, the parties began. Sousuke’s friends and employers were fantastic and he hardly felt inferior in their group, but he was glad to have his family and Samezuka guys on the boat, too. It erased any chance to feel like he did not belong.

He always liked watching, and observing these people and Sousuke was heartwarming. It was fantastic to see him with lots of friends, laughing and joking, big smile on his face. Swimming or not.

All those years ago Rin basically believed that without swimming there is nothing, and he finally grew to learn that there are more important things in the world.

It is important to separate friendship, love, family from your hobbies and career. Especially if you cannot share it with them.

He will always feel a little cold remembering how he was treating Sousuke in the past. Calling them best friends yet leaving him whenever he was not doing what he wanted. To Rin, swimming was life. Sousuke did not join his team? Rin left. Sousuke joined his team for him, but then was forced to stop swimming? Rin left.

God, he was such a selfish asshole. Like it was not possible to love, have friends, and pursue your career. He either forced everybody to do what he wanted or left them.

“Your favourite.”

Rin felt Sousuke’s arms around himself after he handed him his drink.

“Thank you.”

“Are you sad?” Sousuke kissed his temple. “Did something happen?”

“No.” He leaned on him, eyes on the sea.

The music wasn’t too loud around them. People were mostly eating, sunbathing and talking. A few were in the sea, laughing and playing. The nights were the moments for turning the music up and dancing until they collapsed.

“Liar.” Sousuke kissed him behind his ear.

“I am just thinking. I am happy we’re here together. After everything that happened. Thank you.” He turned in his arms and brought his arms around Sousuke’s neck. “I love you.”

Sousuke sighed quietly and hugged him tightly. “You have trouble letting go off the past, don’t you?” he whispered in his ear.

Rin nodded in his neck.

“Look.” Sousuke put his hands lightly on Rin’s shoulders and made him look at him. “You see, there?” He pointed behind them. “That’s the past. We’re swimming away from it. We’re leaving it behind.” He placed the palm of his hands on Rin’s cheeks. “Forget about it. We all make mistakes. What’s important is that you regret them, Rin. And you do. Let us start with a clean card.” He kissed him on the lips after Rin took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. “I wanted to ask you something…”

Rin cocked his head curiously.

“Would you like to move to America? And live with me?”

His jaw dropped. He did not expect Sousuke to offer that.

“I know you have your own place in Australia. And I will respect if you will want to stay there. But I thought… Well. I need to come back to America for now. I do travel a lot but my place is there, my office is there, my team is there. I can’t just leave. So we would have to separate… again.” He bit the inside of his cheek.

“I don’t want to,” he said quietly.

“That’s ok,” Sousuke said quickly. “I only asked. We will figure something else out if you will want to.”

“Oh my God,” Rin whispered and kissed him quickly. “I meant that I do not want to separate again. I want to live with you. I want to be with you.”

Sousuke laughed in relief and hugged him tightly again. “I know it’s a bit fast but… You also told me you do not really know what to do anyway, so maybe starting it anew in America would be a good idea? I will help you there.”

Rin just kissed him again. “Thank you for being better than I ever was.”

“I said we’re leaving the past behind,” he murmured against his lips.

Rin pouted making him laugh.

*

When they watched the stars that night, Rin leaning on Sousuke’s chest, their favourite drinks in their hands, Rin finally smiled with true relief.

The sound of the water splashing against the yacht made him think of the troubles, the bad memories he really was leaving behind. He did not want to forget. Forgetting would mean coming back to being who he was. It was about understanding what he did wrong, accepting he cannot change the past, remembering what he learned and using it in his new life. There was no point in looking back when you can prove yourself now.

At the beginning recalling the bad memories made him feel a little sick. Now he felt determined and motivated. Not everybody gets another chance. He did. His family and his friends gave him another one.

He is going to use it. He is not going to make the same mistakes.

It was still a little surreal that Sousuke gave him another chance, too.

Maybe Sousuke always saw through him. He knew that he could be so much better. He knew it’s worth trusting him yet again.

Rin had to ensure he wouldn’t regret it. But the old Rin was gone, and he did not feel afraid.

This was his new life. His happy life.

A life with Sousuke.

Everything was going to be perfect.

He is going to make it perfect.

Get ready, America.


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it! I hope you will enjoy this epilogue!  
> Thank you so much to everybody who supported me while I was writing this fic! I have the best readers <333 I really appreciate everything you guys did.

“Are you sure that you’re making the right choice?”

Izzy stood by Sousuke by the railing on the boat. It was dark, the stars blinking calmly.

Sousuke put another cig in his mouth, lightening it up.

“No.”

“I just wonder if you have not trusted him too quickly.” She shrugged. “He hurt you so much when you were young, betrayed you and that not once…”

“I know.”

“And yet you told him to move to your house.”

Sousuke slowly let the smoke out of his mouth, forming little circles in the air.

“I have nothing to lose.”

“Don’t you? How would you feel if he would break your trust again? And now when you’re actually together.” She sat on the railing, facing him. Her eyes were sad, full of worry for her best friend.

“I like believing that I would not give a damn and carry on with my life, with the amount of things on my head. It would probably kill me, though.” He starred at the sea, little waves disturbing its absolute peace.

She bent a little to touch his cheek. “Remember that no matter what would happen, you have us. Don’t forget it.”

“I know, I know…” He caught her hand and kissed the top of it. “I am most grateful and luckiest for having friends like you. No matter what happens, I will never get lost having you guys.”

Izzy brought her arms up around him, kissing the side of his head. He quickly returned the hug, hiding his face in her hair.

*

He was terrified.

Again and again he would tell Rin to stop thinking about the past. To get over it. Everything is fine now, don’t think about it.

It was wise, wasn’t? What’s good about remembering the bad, upsetting? He lived his life not remembering all this time. It was easier.

Psychologists tell to deal with the demons instead of ignoring them, but what does it mean dealing and winning with them? He did, didn’t he?

He even stopped taking drugs.

*

“I will know when things will start getting nasty and intervene, you know that?” Izzy stroked his hair, not letting go.

“He really is hurting, you know? He apologises so much. And he does not only say sorry, I know exactly everything he is apologising for. He knows everything, admitted to his mistakes and if he could he would change the past.”

“I know. And I know you forgave him. But we’re talking about things you cannot control. I’m just worried, Sousuke, because I do not want to see you like at the very beginning, completely broken and hiding your pain.”

Sousuke sighed. “When I arrived in America, I was ensured that nothing would work out anyway. I was trying to be determined, I think in a way Rin’s betrayal made me determined because I was so angry at the same time. But deep inside I felt…”

“Empty.”

“Somehow it worked. Depression does not go away, for months I struggled as hell. The drugs helped, but it all takes time. With your help, though, and how surprisingly well I was doing at the university, I started feeling like there is hope. I can have friends. I can do something with my life. I can be happy.” He laughed quietly, sounding a little sad. “I understood that I did not need Rin. That he was never worth it, and that I shouldn’t have ever wasted my time in the first place. I think deep inside I knew it wasn’t worth it but I so desperately looked for hope then so I turned to him. But not his fault he could not give me what I needed so much. He did not even know there was something wrong.” He looked down at his hands, tight on the railing. Expensive watch shined in the moonlight.

There is always light in any dark situation. You just have to look for it.

“Tell me, Sousuke…” She cocked her head. “How many times have you noticed there is something wrong with your friends or employers, and helped even though no one asked or expected you to know?”

“I know what you mean.” He looked at her. “He did ask plenty of times. I just dissed his questions.”

“Well, I am not going to blame you, knowing what he did when you finally did tell him. You probably knew it’s pointless.” She shook her head, frustrated.

“It was then. But it’s been so many years. Don’t you think it’s worth giving him a chance when he knows he did the wrong thing? We’re adults, I am not going to take tiny steps like teenagers in love for the first time. You know I go big or go home.”

“Whether it was worth it it’s for him to prove, I guess.” She stroked his cheek. “But it is up to you to let him prove himself or not.”

“I’ve already given him a chance. He’s moving in. We’re starting a life together. And now I started freaking out.” He laughed. “A bit too late.”

“Are you regretting it?”

“No. I am just scared.”

“Don’t be. No matter what you have us. And…” She jumped off the railing and grinned at him. “He looks at you like you’re billion dollars. Which you are, but it’s another look.” She ruffled his hair. “He loves you. I know that. I just know that no one is perfect and his imperfections might be really destructive for you especially. This is why I want you to be careful. Sometimes it’s better to be a little slower, to not to burn. But I wish you two all the luck in the world.”

*

Rin hid quickly when Izzy walked past. He was listening to their conversation, heart aching.

Sousuke jumped a little in surprise when he hugged him from behind.

“Jesus, Rin.”

“Hey.” Rin moved to his front and brought his hands around his neck, to place a kiss on his mouth. “I love you.”

If he was not determined enough already, hearing their conversation gave him a kick he needed. The tears dried. Now he needed to fight. Not only to prove that Sousuke made the right choice giving him a chance.

But that he made the best one.

“Mmm, what brought that up?”

He shrugged and smiled.

“I’m taking you out for a dinner after we arrive in America.”

Sousuke laughed quietly. “I am taking you out for a dinner, because I know where to go in the first place.”

“Ok, but I am paying.”

“Rin…”

He kissed him again. “Let’s go back to bed.”

Sousuke grinned and Rin let a quiet scream out when he threw him over his shoulder and made his way towards their room.

That night Rin saw Sousuke looking at him with hope and a little smile on his face.

It was enough for now.

Tomorrow they are starting their new life in America.

Together.

Finally.

*

|A few years later|

Sousuke groaned and hid under the duvet when a little kid jumped on him.

“Daddy!”

A giggle. A laugh.

Sousuke smiled.

“Let dad sleep, he came back late from work,” a whisper and Sousuke felt the covers moving as the kid jumped between him and Rin and made himself comfortable.

A giggle again and a kiss on the back of his head. “Goodnight, daddy.”

*

He woke up and looked around with a yawn. He was alone in the massive bedroom.

“DADDY!”

The door opened and a kid with black hair and massive smile on his little face ran inside, quickly in his arms. Rin who was behind him with a tray, a plate with food on it and a cup of coffee, winked to him.

“Hey, family.”

Rin chuckled and put the tray by Sousuke, bending to kiss him on the lips.

“Morning.”

“Eww.” The kid scrunched his little nose up.

“Come here.” Sousuke tugged him towards himself, as he did with Rin and hugged them tight. “What I did to deserve all of this…” He sighed, pure happiness on his face. He loved his job, but his family… they were heaven on earth.

“I don’t have time to read you an essay now.” Rin grinned and kissed him on the cheek. “Now eat and get dressed up, we’re going out.”

“Going out? I have a day off, let’s stay in bed.” He smirked.

“ZOO!” A mumble.

They looked at their child, who proceeded to stuff his face with the scrambled eggs Rin prepared for Sousuke.

“You promised me zoo!”

“Right.” Sousuke lay down again and stretched. “Zoo.”

“Difficult day at work?” Rin kissed him lightly on the lips.

“Nope. Just busy. I’m glad we’re getting richer every day, but it’s more and more work at the same time.”

“Stop pretending you don’t like it, Mr businessman.” Rin shook his head with a smile on his face and kissed him again. He laughed when he saw the little satisfied smirk.

Sousuke slid his hand up Rin’s thigh. Rin cocked his eyebrow.

“We’re going to the zoo now, but we’re calling Izzy to babysit for the night.”

“Great idea.”

They kissed again but seeing the very disgusted, full of judgment look on their son’s face they stopped, laughing again.

*

When they came back in the morning, they quietly walked past Izzy who was snoring on the sofa, pillows, popcorns, drinks around her. They obviously had fun.

Kid was in his bed, clean and tidy, sleeping soundly. Knowing he wasn’t a fan of them leaving for the night, spoiled and used to having them as often as possible close to himself, since they did not agree that there was limit to love a child can receive from his parents, they lay on each side of him so he would wake up in their arms.

Sousuke smiled seeing Rin kissing his little head and closing his eyes, arm around him. Sousuke brought his arm around them both and soon he was asleep too.

He couldn’t have made a better choice all those years ago.

He was the happiest man alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you are not aware, I have started a new fic, called The Dark Arts.  
> It's a Sousuke x Rin in Harry Potter AU, you can find it on my account @nightcloak666  
> I hope you will enjoy it!


End file.
